10 MAORI JOKES

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New Zealand is known for its beautiful scenery and friendly people. However, like all places, it's not above a spot of casual racism. The target of most kiwi jokes (apart from sheep and Australians) are the Maori, who are legendary for being ferocious warriors of enormous physical stature. The jokes tend to steer away from this territory and focus more on their current reputation as lazy, idle, drunken, thieving, etc., same suite of traits as every ethnic outsider group on the planet. They also tend to be pretty fucking harsh. The jokes, not the Maoris. Although sometimes... Look, just enjoy this Middle-Earth edition of 10 Jokes before we dig ourselves any deeper.

Q: What’s black and white and rolls down a hill?
A: A Maori and a seagull fighting over a fish head.

Q: How many pall bearers do you need at a Maori funeral?
A: It only takes one person to push a wheelie bin

Rangi was standing on the door step watching Tama collecting the rubbish.
As Tama went by he yells out to Rangi
"Hey bro where's you bin"??
Rangi replies, "I bin in Australia"
"NO" replies Tama "where's your wheelie bin"?
"Oh I wheelie bin in jail, but I like to tell people I bin in Australia."

Knock knock,
Who's there?,
Statue,
Statue who?
Statue BRO?

Q: You own a three-story house. The top floor is rented to a family of Maoris, the middle floor to Pakehas (European New Zealanders), and the basement is used as a rumpus room. One day, there's a massive earthquake and your entire house collapses. Who survived?
A: The Pakehas, they were at work.

Q: What did the Maori say to the Jew?
A: Heeebroo.

Q: How do you get ten Maoris into a mini?
A: Put some fish and chips in there.

Q: How do you get them out?
A: Tell them they have to pay.

Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a Maori on a bike?
A: Cause the bikes probably yours.

Q: Why do flys have wings?
A: To beat the Maoris to the tip.

Q: Why does the tip have a fence?
A: To give the flies a chance.

Q: How can you tell when a Maori has lost his virginity?
A: You see it on Crimewatch.

Q: What does a Maori use for protection during sex?
A: A balaclava and a shotgun.

Q: A car filled with a Maori family was driving up a steep, winding mountain road. There were two in the front, and three in the back. All of a sudden the car lost control, and skidded off the side of the road, killing everyone in the car. What is the sad part of this story?
A: They could have fit two more in the boot.

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1 year ago

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