If you didn’t already know, Akon is a Senegalese American hip-hop artist, songwriter, producer, and businessman. Earlier today, while stumbling out of my Facebook vs. Twitter online consumption continuum, I found myself on his Wikipedia page. And, though I don’t know everything about every single recording artist in the world, I feel confident in saying that he has had the most ludicrous career of any R&B artist. Ever.
Since this is the internet and people no longer want to read anything that isn't comprehensively organized, I’ve compiled a list of his career highlights.
AKON IS THE #1 SELLING ARTIST FOR RINGTONES IN THE WORLD
Back in the day, polyphonic ringtones were big in the telecommunications game. If you didn’t have something like Bone Thugz N Harmony bumping from behind your customized fascia, then you were dead to the world. Akon is the Tony Montana of ringtones, and he should be proud. I mean, a Grammy award is nothing more than a piece of scrap metal shitted out by record execs when your track frequents more Nokia 3410s than the crazy frog, right?
Read the rest of the list on Noisey.
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Juggalos Are OK, Cupid
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Deportee Purgatory
About 40 percent of Mexican immigrants deported from the US are sent back through Tijuana.
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VICE News: This Is What Winning Looks Like
A documentary about the ineptitude and corruption of the Afghan security forces.
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Americana: It's Like Vietnam All Over Again
The Virginia-Carolina Military History Association gets lit up by the Viet Cong.
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Teens Are Being Trapped in Abusive 'Drug Rehab Centers'
How an anti-drug cult from the 60s has evolved into a billion-dollar industry.
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VICE News: Triple Hate
A documentary about Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Memphis City Council, the Klan, and the Crips.
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Marc Maron Is the King of Twitter
The man is an entertainer, and clearly a very smart one.
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A Chat with Janicza Bravo (and Brett Gelman) About Her New Short Starring Michael Cera in a Wheelchair
A couple weeks back I chatted with J&B over baba ghanous about the new film.
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Murderous Fanatics and EDL Idiots Brought Darkness to Woolwich, London Yesterday
We spent the day there trying to make sense of it all.
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A Few Impressions: 'Leviathan,' I Love You
It holds up a mirror to nature, but this mirror came from a fun house.
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Please Start Banning Books Again
There has never been a better time to start censoring art in America.
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The VICE Reader: Sort by Kind
The VICE Reader is a series on VICE.com in which we publish original fiction—mostly.
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VICE News: Triple Hate
A doc about Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Memphis City Council, the Klan, and the Crips.
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Spanish Bombs: Granada Unveils Joe Strummer Plaza
Granada inaugurates a plaza for Clash frontman Joe Strummer.
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Listening to Kanye's "New Slaves" with White People
Let’s be clear: "New Slaves" is explicitly racial.
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Pump It Up
Photos by Anna Ryon, styling by Lola Chatterton.
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A Few Impressions: 'Leviathan,' I Love You
It holds up a mirror to nature, but this mirror came from a fun house.
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A Drunk EDL Hate Mob Attacked London's Police Last Night
They went there to spread Islamophobia and achieved absolutely nothing.
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Murderous Fanatics and EDL Idiots Brought Darkness to Woolwich, London Yesterday
We spent the day there trying to make sense of it all.
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A Chat with Janicza Bravo (and Brett Gelman) About Her New Short Starring Michael Cera in a Wheelchair
A couple weeks back I chatted with J&B over baba ghanous about the new film.
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Deportee Purgatory
About 40 percent of Mexican immigrants deported from the US are sent back through Tijuana.
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Marc Maron Is the King of Twitter
The man is an entertainer, and clearly a very smart one.
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Fightland: Pakistan - Part 2
Pakistani MMA got its start in an apart
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Watch Japanther's Kaleidoscopic New Video for "Stolen Flowers"
It's really good.
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Murderous Fanatics and EDL Idiots Brought Darkness to Woolwich, London Yesterday
We spent the day there trying to make sense of it all.
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I Tested out Three Cambodian Spiritual Practices
And learned that Cambodian ghosts apparently don't believe in Jesus.
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Amy’s Baking Company's Grand Reopening Nearly Bored Me to Death
It was kinda like real life TV, but nothing was happening.
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Munchies: The Marrow
He yelled a lot while juicing rhubarbs.
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Noisey: Heavy Dicks - Drinking Cough Syrup with Weedeater
Fred and Jake join Weedeater to sample fine cough syrups and artisanal cheeses.
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VICE on HBO Extended: Egypt on the Brink - Women Under Assault
VICE co-founder Suroosh Alvi meets with some local activists around Tahrir Square.
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Art Talk: Matt Mignanelli
A chat about his work, life, and strong American work ethic.
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VICE News: Sisa: Cocaine of the Poor
A new drug called sisa is tearing its way through Athens' poor.
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Did a Murderer Just Give Himself Away on Yelp?
It seems like he might have done.
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How Are We Supposed to Know What the Government Does?
It's pretty terrifying how little we know.
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Watch Japanther's Kaleidoscopic New Video for "Stolen Flowers"
It's really good.
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Rave and Hardcore YouTube Comments Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity
They're genuinely some of the most beautiful things I've ever read.
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Special music for special music lovers like you!
Deportee Purgatory
Welcome to Tijuana’s El Bordo 
'Leviathan,' I Love You
James Franco at the Movies 
Juggalos Are OK, Cupid
Don’t Be a Tumblr Asshole 
Get Rich or High Trying
The Coming Age of Corporate Cannabis 
Triple Hate - Part 1
The KKK vs. the Crips vs. Memphis City Council 
Rave and Hardcore YouTube Comments
They Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity 
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