AN AFTERNOON AT THE TORRINGTON GOPHER HOLE MUSEUM

By Alex

In the ass-end of nowhere, Calgary, is a little dark room filled with taxidermic gophers. Seventy one to be exact, snuffed and stuffed, then dressed up and posed in 44 little scenarios. A Pennywise-esque clown with a red nose and neck ruffle clutches a bunch of balloons in its furry paws. A Sandra D, complete with poodle skirt, stares into the cold, unblinking eyes of her Danny under a full moon. A haughty Lutheran reverend steps up to the podium while his choirboy sleeps and a rodenty angel circles above his head. This is the "World Famous" Torrington Gopher Hole Museum, and I’ve been wanting to go for ages.

I first heard about it a few years back, but as you can imagine, it’s one of those things that's quite difficult to get people to accompany you for a visit. So, this year when my birthday rolled around, I used that as leverage to get my sister and her family to take me as my birthday treat. As it happened, her mother- and father-in-law were visiting from out of town that weekend, and were dragged along for the ride. It was fun trying to explain to them where we were going. “A room full of what?” ... “Why would you want to see something like that?” I’d be lying if I said I had an answer for them. I just did.