Slipknot and a bunch of other metal bands with long and/or terrible names are currently touring the US, fueled and funded by some energy drink company. They call it the Mayhem Festival, and one of its most recent stops was in the Boston suburb Mansfield, MA.
This got me thinking: Slipknot formed 17 years ago. Their oldest fans now have mortgages and lawnmowers and maybe even a kid or two who’s old enough to join the army. What does that mean for America and, more importantly, the world? Probably that it’s going to end, I guess.
Curious to see what the average Slipknot fan is like nowadays, I drove out to the show from New York and immediately found a very thorough answer to my question: This kid and his father, who is also sort of a Slipknot fan, also known as maggots.
VICE: Explain the bond between Slipknot and their fans.
Son:It’s a mutual. We love them and you can tell they love us cause they’re always talking about us, and how we’re, like, their army.
One without a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, correct?
What defines a true Slipknot fan as opposed to some brooding poser in a food court?
A true Slipknot fan always sticks up for the band. If someone puts them down, you’re right in their face screaming: “They’re the greatest friggin’ band!”
I’ve got to be honest, I am not the biggest Slipknot fan. You wouldn’t attack me over that, right?
No, I don’t get violent.
It’s a pacifist army then?
I’ve got to ask you: If you’re such a big Slipknot fan why are you out in the parking lot while they’re playing?
Well I got to see half of the show, and now he wants to leave.
[I am jabbed from behind on the shoulder and it is the young man’s father.]
Father:Yeah, they’re cool. I like Disturbed more—wish they were playing this year. But I’ve been here like a thousand times, and been dragged out of here plenty too.
You’re just jumping ahead of the game.
It’s time to go the bar!
What was it like the last time you were here?
Last time I was here I knocked this guy out and threw him down the stairs. He fuckin’ punched his son’s girlfriend. Cops come over and are like “What happened?” and I’m like “I think he fell, hahahahahaha!”
Don’t ask Don’t Tell indeed.
Yeah, his son’s like “The guy threw him!” and I just give him a look and am like “You need to go too?”
Have you ever beaten up a father-and-son combo?
Yes. I’ve actually beat up a father, a son, and almost his fuckin’ wife.
Yeah, I dragged [this kid] out his car in his driveway, beat him up, and his fuckin’ father come out. I beat the fuck out of him. His wife comes out and says, “You’re a fuckin’ asshole.” I’m like “No one calls me an asshole!” Then the sister comes out, and I’m like “Get back in the house!” I’ve lived in Norwood for the last 30 years; all the cops know me. I do whatever the fuck I want.
Well, you’re terrifying. Thank you for not beating me up.
I love fucking people up.
Well again, thanks for not beating me up.
No, its fine. [to his son] Now lets get drunk, bitch!