"Andrew": A Dialogue of Texts in the Year of Drugs and Kindness

The following is the transcript of Giancarlo DiTrapano and Tao Lin's text messaging correspondence from July 2, 2010 through June 26, 2011. Some names, places, and code words were changed in order to protect some names, places, and code words. No texts were omitted or added.

Jul 2, 2010
Tao: Is there a party in Williamsburg

GianCarlo: No idea. Had dinner with that old fag XXXXXX XXXXX, who have decided is the best conversationalist I ever met. he's 20 times more alive than me. Never heard of bburg party, sorry.

Jul 30
G: At those benches. Take your time.
G: How many of these should I take?

T: I'm good with half of one but I weigh 125 so maybe just one whole one. Open it and pour the little balls into your mouth.

G: Ooh fun. Thanks, Tao.

T: Thank you too.

Jul 31
G: Havin any fun?

T: Just woke for the day. Hehe.

G: You out?

T: By Washington sq park. What's happening

G: Walking on Ave A, kinda high. Wanna chill?

T: Sure. Meet on 2nd ave and something in 20 min? What street?

G: 2nd and 7th?

T: Ok

Aug 1
G: It was great hanging out with you last night. Still can't believe I lost those fucking pills.

T: I had fun. We should do it again some time. Thanks again for the oxy.

G: sip

T: Heh

Aug 7
T: Any parties or want to sell Oxys to me?

G: Haha. Fresh out. Sucks. Kim Parsons bday at Blue and Gold. That's all I know. I'm home for the night though.

T: Sweet.

G: My guy is out of them or I'd give you his number.

T:Thanks

Aug 11
G: How'd it go?

T: Gonna go Friday

G: Cool

Aug 13
T: What's dr XXXX's address. I'm grade to canal and XXXXXXXXX now.

G: Don't know exact address. There is a pharmacy on XXXXXXXXX, right below XXXXX. across the street from that you'll see a big door like to an apartment building. Go in that door and walk back to the stairs. Go down. Office in basement. he sometimes pulls some shit like he isn't taking new patients. But he shouldn't do that to you.

T: Grade - headed.
T: Ok sweet. Thanks.
T: Should I say a friend referred me to him

G: No. Or maybe. Say me. Giancarlo DiTrapano.

T: They said no new patients.
T: I'll buy 5 30 mg oxy from you for $110

G: Oh fuck. That's weird. I've heard that's happened before but I just sent a new guy there like a month ago and he got in. I'm sorry you wasted your time. I have a guy who sells 5 30s for 100. want me to get you one?

T: No problem at all, just bought three coconuts. Thanks for letting me in on it to try. They've sensed they've gone too far perhaps. Yeah could you get me $100 of oxy, I'd like that.

G: Okay. Where will you be later? I'm waiting on some packages to be delivered so can't leave until they get here. But I'll probably come down later.

T: I'll be at nyu's library by Washington sq park until at least 8pm. Thanks

G: Okay. My UPS guy usually comes after work so I should get down there by then. I'm so sorry about today.

T: I'll come to whatever is convenient for you though. Make that $200 worth if possible. I'll give you 30 addy for handling costs.
T: Sweet. Thanks. No apologies needed at all I feel. I really appreciate the tip. Bought fruit from Chinatown.

G: okay. I'll text you once I know better when I can leave.

T: Thanks
T: Thanks
T: Want to get dinner w me, Christian lorentzen, Justin taylor, Sara, I think moe tkakic and possibly james and others at dumont burger at 432 uni
Union avenue at 915?

G: Sure. I'll just meet you there. Still waiting.

T: Sweet. It's nine people including you. 915. You can sell me the goods then if you have.

G: You guys go ahead and eat. I'll be there eventually. Just don't wait on me to order or anything.

T: K

G: I might be really late. Still waiting. I'll call you in a bit. See where you are.

T: K

G: Doesn't look good. He said he'd be here now e isn't answering. Sorry, twice.

T: No problem at all. We're just finish
T: ing eating

G: If he shows up soon I'll call and come out.

T: K Thanks

Aug 14
G: Hey. I got those.

T: Sweet. What's a convenient time/place for me to come get

G: I have to wait at home for the packages that never arrived yesterday. I was going to head downtown after that. Like 8 or so. Will you be downtown then?
G: I won't ditch you again.

T: I will be downtown then. Text me when you arrive. Thank you. Oxieeeeeeessssss…

G: Hehe
G: Whoa. Fell asleep. On my way now. (oxieeeeesssss)

T: Sweeeeeet. Where should I meet you?
T: I'm at think coffee on 13th and 4th ave

G: Shit. This snuck past me. I'm upstairs at bar 2A.

T: Coming

G: Cool.

T: Hey. 4 of these are blue with cursive Vs on them.

G: I know. They look different but they are all oxy 30s. Trust.

T: Oh ok Good. Thanks.

G: The "bluer" ones give me blue snot. But that's because I sniff them. Shouldn't be a problem for you.

T: Sweet

Aug 29
G: hey. Where can I charge my iPhone in soho? I have some oxies. Wanna buy?
G: I think you are in California.

T: I have enough oxies and low cash currently but thanks. I think the apple store on prince and maybe west of broadway.

G: Cool. I found a charger. Hope you're well.

T: Sweet. I'm doing well. You?

G: Good, I guess. I'm always bored. Even with drugs.

T: Damn. Do you have an LSD contact? That might help (also if you do I'm "in the market" for some, hehe).

G: No, but I can ask around. I love it if it's pure LSD-25. Might know someone with mushrooms.

T: Sweet. I'm down for $100 worth.

G: Okay. I'll see if that can happen and let you know.

Aug 30
T: Sweet. Thank you.
T: Would be nice to use before a reading.

G: Sure. If nice means terrifying. You are a courageous man.

T: I'm also bored. Terrifying seems preferable to awkward or social anxiety related fears maybe.

G: Good point. When I read at the literary death match thing I had 5 percocets, 4 martinis, a Xanax, half a 50 bag of coke. And two Grolsch. And I was great. I won the death match.

T: Lol…seems sweet. Good job winning. I won one of those also.

Sep 1
G: Finished Richard Yates last night. Victory.

T: Victory…thanks for reading.

Sep 2
G: Can you send me a cool image of the Richard Yates cover? I'm writing a piece for VICE on it. The cover would be cool, but if you have something cooler, then that would be cool. Cool?
G: This will not effect the James' interview at all. It's just a short post for online.

T: Sweet…will do that now. Thank you.

G: No problemo. I can't stop thinking about that book.

T: Damn…good to hear I think. Do you want just the book or like an exclusive pic of me.

G: Maybe something different than the cover. That things everywhere. It will work, but maybe a picture that everyone hasn't already seen. If not, then the cover is fine.

Sep 18
G: Found mushrooms. Next week. Thweet.
G: This is one of them.

T: Sweet. I'm excited. I ate mushrooms in chocolate twice few days ago in Ohio, I liked it. Yours looks tasty like it should go in a Chinese food dish.

G: looks like an antler foot with a scrotum root.

T: Seems good with garlic sauce.

Sep 21
T: WNt to trade me mushroom for addy? I also desire percocet and will trade addy for that.

G: I also desire percocet. lol. Mushrooms haven't arrived yet. Getting 90 percs tomorrow afternoon. Where you be tmrw afternoon?

T: Sweet. I'm leaving for Boston around noon
T: Any way I can come to you to made the transaction around then

G: Okay, I'll try to do it early enough.
G: Might push for oxieeeeesssss instead of percs.

T: Sweet. Will text you tomorrow

G: Sounds sweet
G: Shit. i forgot man. I have to wait another week before I see doctor. Just saw him 23 days ago and must wait month between visits. Will let you know about mushrooms though. getting oxxxiieeees tonight though.

T: Okay sweet. I still have enough for my tour I think. we can make transactions when I'm back.

Sep 22
G: Getting pure MDMA tonight. Not that ecstacy bullshit. I hate that shit. This stuff is like heaven water.

T: I'm actually leaving tomorrow morning. Want to trade a bit for addy or sell two tao sized doses.

Oct 13
T: I've got many 30mg addy I'll trade for MDMA. Going to lorentzen's bday tonight?

G: I'm in Woodstock for October. Got the MDMA here with me. Tell Xtn I said happy birthday please! If you want me to call my MDMA guy, I can. But you'd have to meet him. It's super pure and delicious. No real hangover either.

T: Jesus…it seems sweet. I'm food for short term but maybe later. Will tell Xian. Enjoyed your TC piece. Have fun at Woodstock.

G: Thanks Tao. I'm coming in this weekend to do some stuff. Maybe I'll text you.

T: Sweet

Oct 16
G: getting some MDMA. Do you want? 25 a capsule.

T: Yes I'd like 4 if possible, you be in Manhattan today? Om leaving for Canada at 8:30am.

G: He just left. Fuck, man. Sorry. Should have given you more warning. Might see him later today. Will let you know if I do. Once again, sorry.

T: Oh damn, no worries at all. I'm down for buying 4 at any time. Thank you for getting me in on this.

G: Yup. Will text you later.
G: You still want?

T: Yes, where and when?

G: Will advise shorty
G: L
G: Nowhere Bar in 30?

T: Is in 45 ok? At home in Brooklyn currently

G: Sure man

T: Sweet

G: Thweet

T: Fuckkk. Walked to train without all my wallet shit. Will be another 30 or so. Is that ok?

G: Sure

T: I'm near

G: In middle of bar
G: At bar in middle

Oct 21
G: You do them things yet?

T: I did one, was really sweet. I did other ones also and had to do two or the effect of one of yours.
T: or = for

G: Thweet. It's so mellow and nice. Might eat one tonight and go walk in the woods with headphones.

T: Seems sweet. I got on a megabus at 12pm, still on, got in accident, ETA re NYC is now midnight

G: Sounds not so sweet. Good luck getting 'home'
G: :)

T: Good luck with the woods. Picture you eating a large turkey leg while doing that.

G: Sounds like a sweet sign.

Nov 6
T: Any chance of me getting more MDMA tonight?

G: I can give you his number and he will come to you. He's cool.

T: Sweet. I'd like that.

G: Waiting for him to text back
G: 917-709-XXXX his name is andrew hes expecting your call

T: Sweet. Thank you very much.

G: Yup
G: He said call soon if you can. His phone about to dodo
G: Die not dodo

T: Did it thanks

G: Coo

Nov 7
T: Went smoothly. I'm happy. Thanks again.
T: I like Andrew.

G: He very mellowstyle

Dec 10
G: Know of any parties tonight?

T: No, sorry

G: You know about James Yeh's thing right? Might go there. John Haskell is reading. Not sure how long that will go on for.

T: Hm I didn't know. Where

G: At his place

Feb 2, 2011
G: Hi Tao. I got 2 grams of powdered MDMA. Better than last stuff. Let me know if you (or anyone) needs. I get in to DC tonight. See you.

Feb 3
T: Sweet. I have some also. Arriving tomorrow with Megan. Going to the 'Literature Party?'
T: #AWMDMAP11

G: Hi! Cool, cool. Did you get the "new" powder from Andrew? If you know anyone else who wants to buy some let me now. I have too much! Hehe. I'll be at lit party. Going to make Blake take some.

T: Yes I did, is it good? Too much, Jesus…we should slip some in Joyce Carol Oate's tea.

G: Yeah, I bought two 80 bags. What the fuck is wrong with me? Going to GNC to buy capsules to put it in. I tasted a tiny bit and it felt good. It's more crystaly.

T: Sweet. Hoping to maybe just die this weekend from drugs. Tarnish AWP's reputation forever.

G: Victory.
G: No, don't die. I wonder if it's possible to die from MDMA. It probably feels good.

T: Write an account of it so far
T: on HTMLGIANT. I'm bored on Megabus.
T: AWP not MDMA

G: Here's an account: I hate this place.
G: Volume 2: I want to fight this one guy here.
G: Volume 3: I don't know what his face looks like.

T: Comment: sweet

G: Face first into a drug fugue.
G: Whoa. This MDMA is good.

T: Sweeeeet. Excited.

G: Like REALLY good. Whoa.

Feb 5

T: Thanks for the percocet

G: Yup

Feb 6
T: You guys partying right now somewhere?

G: Blake and some people are. I'm in bed.
G: Not sure where. Christian Lorentz is with him I think.

T: Sweet. Thanks. Have a nice sleep.

Feb 14
G: Pure MDMA. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day to you and Megan!

G: Don't know why I said I love you. I do, but like I'm kind of fucked up.

Feb 18

T: Hey I lost my phone and just got it back. Megan and I liked your text and pic. Any parties tonight?

G: Oh. Haha. Was so wasted that night. Found three old Andrew capsules and ate them all. I am in Florida. Back home tomorrow night. Good party at Von tomorrow in basement.

Feb 20
G: You guys out?

T: Just got home

March 5
G: Any good parties?

T: Not that I know of. I'm going to sleep in about an hour.

G: How do you know when you will go to sleep. I never can tell. You have gift. Golden child. Sweet dreams.

March 6
T: Planned to sleep around 9, just turned off light now, after doing 'nothing' in room 5-7 hours.

G: Lol. Dude, people in my building are going crazy right now. I think someone killed somebody. and they are throwing shit from the rooftop. Cops, firetrucks. I'm in the dark listening.

T: jesus…seems really quiet here. Going to focus hard on sleeping now. Have a safe night…

G: You too

Mar 18
G: Any parties? So bored

T: Yes. We are going right now with TC peeps, off Jefferson L stop.

G: O sweet

T: Wyckoff and Starr

G: On my way. Is it a bar?

T: A house, text me when there

G: Ok
G: Need booze?

T: No, but ppl seem to want drugs

G: My cocaine dealer is meeting me there
G: 50s

T: Sweet
T: We'd like to buy $100 if possible

G: He's bringing a bunch

T: Sweet

G: SO sweet

T: Be there in 2 min

G: Did you want something? This stupid girl is making us leave and I have to wait for guy here.

May 19
G: Hey man. Can you really score Adderal?

T: I get ten a month from someone, could sell you 2 30mg Sunday if yu want

G: That would be a nice start. I ask Chinatown guy for them and he won't give. WTF. "Oh, here's 10,000 mg. of oxies but no adderall.
G: Thanks.

Mar 28
G: Dude. What happened to the 'real' Andrew?

T: Lol. I have no idea. I think if you didn't tell me I wouldve assumed forever that it's the same person, would've adjusted my memory of his appearance.

G: Fuck. I hate the 'new' Andrew. I want old Andrew back. Gonna find him.
G: I 'miss' Andrew

T: I have a feeling I'll text you next week and you'll be 'Gian's cousin' 'Jean.'

G: Or my Chinese female cousin Xian.

T: If that happens and you're inside her text me 'XXXXX' and I'll know and try to get you out, will blog about it.

G: Very well thought out idea. I can't remember number sequences so codeword: XXXXX

T: XXXXXXX, write it down. Just XXXXX is too risky, I don't want to be viewed as insane when Xian is just saying XXXXX in a normal conversational.

G: Fine. Jesus.

T: Thanks. I'm thinking of both of us.

G: I know, I know

T: I know you know, and I know you know I know you know.

G: Nice

Mar 29
G: Based on this evening's reconnaissance, I am now 80-90% sure that the 'real' Andrew is dead or gone, somehow, forever. XXXXXXX

T: I'll hold a vigil in his memory this weekend, will invite you on FB, be on the look out.

Mar 30

G: More like a vigil for Em-Dee-Em-May. I don't know anywhere else to get any. Dammit. DAMMIT. XXXXXXX.

April 1
G: Any sweet parties?

April 9

T: Any MDMAndrew news?

G: Oh dude. Forgot to tell you. He had risen. Go to him, at once!
G: Has risen. Fuvkzx

T: Oh sweet…sweet. Rejoice!

G: I was like Thomas. I had to reach out and touch him to make sure it was really him.

T: We can't really know without a DNA sample

G: No. We must only have faith.

April 13
G: Did you see Him?

T: Nope, not yet

G: He is.

April 21
G: I'm downtown. You around?

April 22

T: Andrew didn't respond to me today…=(

G: Weird. he texted me around noon about having "good bud" out of nowhere. Try again but with worried tone, eg. "Man, you okay?" That sometimes draws people out.

June 17
G: Whoa. I ate a lot of that acid. I kept taking piece by piece because I was like, feeling nothing. Now…whoa…I'm ordering pizza and I keep hearing them call my name but I go up to the counter and…there's no…pizza there. All good though. Feels nice. Thank you.

T: Sweet, we're on a lot of drugs. Is there a party tonight

G: I am on Fire Island

T: Oh damn

G: I just walked by this omg

T: Jesus. WTF is that

G: I was on a very dark path. It was the only light.
G: Ate 'more' acid tonight.

T: Glad the LSD worked.

June 22
T: Do you have any Xanax you want to sell me right now? I'll come to you.

G: Still on Fire Island. Don't have any anyway. Sorry :( I might know someone though. Hold on

T: Oh damn. No need to try someone, not in dire need but thanks.

G: Okay. Same guy just offered 150x Roxy30s for 500. Want to throw in?

T: Oh Jesus. yes. Can I get 75, os whatever amount you want to sell me?

G: Seems like an awesome deal. Back in town tomorrow. Will try and put together soon.

T: Sweettttttt, thanks for thinking of me for this.

G: lol exactly one minute before you 'Andrew' texted me: Got some of those lil guys you like

T: Sweet. Been on a Xanax/addy binge lately. Seems nice.

G: Never done that. Seems very nice. I guess 'Andrew' is referring to the MDMA I asked him for. Like three months ago. Jesus.

June 25
G: Our first text communication is dated July 2nd, 2010. I feel that this text i am typing right now should be the penultimate text message in our potential VICE post. It is the first text from the past year that I have written while being "aware" of us possibly publishing this. I feel this post would be tainted if we had the idea of possibly publishing it from the beginning, almost exactly one year ago. Seems to work here at the end like this though. Some kind of perfect timing or something.
G: The digital stars seem aligned. Would you like to send me the very last text of our highly invincible VICE entry?

T: Damn, July 2nd is my bday…trying to remember what I was doing on my bday…damn…don't remember. 1 year…Jesus. I've never mentioned this and maybe you forgot but a really long time ago, in early 2007 or even earlier, I sent you a story for New York Tyrant…just searched my Gmail account and I see our first correspondence via your Tyrant address is from 2/26/06…then we never corresponded until this thread, really (Jesus…feel like I'm "crumbling" under pressure big time…to
T: conclude this), but I was aware of your existence throughtout…then "suddenly" this positive text message correspondence…my bday…I don't remember waht the first text is…at some point I got an iPhone and lost the first few months' texts, I think…I remember when you sent me that pic of the mushroom…and at AWP when you tossed Megan and I a Percocet…that was sweet…lol…this last text is so shitty…I'm excited to reread our entire thing
T: on a computer screen.