Annihilation Education

et’s face it, the apocalypse sounds pretty fucking cool. That’s why every generation has an Omega complex. Last-man-standing just seems like a good time. From Revelations to

The Stand

, there’s been many different scenarios about how the Shit Goes Down. Mid-20th century apocalyptic visions were almost purely science fiction— mainly the province of nebbish Canadian pre-pubescents and L. Ron Hubbard. All bullshit. 9/11 saved us from all that when we realized the threat isn’t alien but human. Total annihilation is still cool, right? Wrong. Here are a few recent novels to show you why:

THE ROAD

BY CORMAC MCCARTHY

Premise:

McCarthy flips his dusty western setting for American societal collapse. Father and son flee the mountains and head south, trying to stay alive.

How’s it all end?:

The scariest part—no one knows. The earth is scorched, nothing lives, ash blocks out the sun and covers everything.

Fun factor:

Looting and being a gun-toting badass aside, this is gonna suck. Say hello to wet shoes, diminishing food, and cannibalism. Can’t wait!

THE LONG EMERGENCY

BY JAMES HOWARD KUNTSLER

Premise:

Shocker— we can’t survive without cheap oil! Life’s tough when we can’t pull that blackest of gold out of the ground anymore.

How’s it all end?:

Oil becomes more expensive, world economies default, society unravels, governments collapse, population centers shift and shrink.

Fun factor:

Sounds killer, until you realize that you’re a pretty cool dude living in a city, and you’d have to move upstate to a small town surrounded by farmland, because those are the only viable places to live when oil disappears. Electricity too. Good thing we learned all those useful media skills!

JAMESTOWN

BY MATTHEW SHARPE

Premise:

Explorers from what was once 21st century New York City head south looking for resources. It’s the settling-of-America story all over again!

How’s it all end?:

Jon Rolfe and Co. head out after the sovereign nation of Brooklyn bombs the fuck out of the Chrysler Building. Pocahontas helps them survive.

Fun factor:

Text messaging still works and the Injuns have secret names like “Shaneequa.” Like thinly veiled metaphors?

THE WORLD WITHOUT US

BY ALAN WEISMAN

Premise:

Whether by plague or some sort of

Left Behind

rapture, what happens after humans are wiped off the planet overnight?

How’s it all end?:

Modern cities aren’t exactly built to last. With humans gone, buildings aren’t maintained, foundations collapse, highways are overgrown, and so on.

Fun factor:

With humans at the helm, we’re only about a week away from doomsday at any given time. Rad.

WORLD WAR Z

BY MAX BROOKS

Premise:

Mel Brooks’ son gets all Studs Terkel with survivors of the Zombie War. The undead epidemic breaks out in China and soon the whole world is fighting off the zombie hordes.

How’s it all end?:

Zombies eat half the earth’s population.

Fun factor:

Powell/Dean in office, Michael Stipe enlists to fight the zombies, and Jon Stewart and Ann Coulter put aside their differences and screw as the undead attack.