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Are High-Rise Window Cleaners Happy?

It’s that question you ask yourself at 4am—am I happy? Am I, really? We’re taking it to different people with different lives. So how do high-rise window cleaners feel about themselves?

It’s that question you ask yourself at 4am—am I happy? Am I, really? And as that game is obviously so much fun, we’re taking it to different people with different lives. So how do high-rise window cleaners feel about themselves? It’s a boring job and generally frowned upon as a career, but strangely not at 250 metres. At that point it’s dangerous enough to be interesting—but interesting enough to make people happy? To find out we asked two guys from Tower Clean, who do the Rialto in Melbourne, and a young guy from Briteway who does everything everywhere. So are they happy?

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 Lucas and Mike from Tower Clean.

VICE: Hey Mike, are you happy?
Mike: Of course I’m happy.

What about you Lucas?
Lucas: Yeah.

Yeah you’re happy?
Yeah, I’m happy. When the weather’s good it’s just nice to be outside.

The Rialto. The tallest, most 80s building in the Sothern Hemisphere.

Back to you Mike. What makes you happy?
People being friendly. Friendly environments - I hate rank. I like people just people being people, although really, I don’t like people that much.

Why not?
It all relates back to being married and digging a hole that I couldn’t get out of. I had an affair and the relationship kept on going on after that, although the baggage just never shook off. I was married for seven years, with an affair for three. It was fucking awful and it created a lot of self-shame. Because morally, aside from murder and rape, what’s the worst thing you can do to someone? Have an affair. In the end I left my wife and moved in with my girlfriend, but she ended up cheating on me anyway. It seems like I’ve done the whole circle, although I don’t believe in karma.

Mike laughing.

So do you need to be in a relationship to be happy?
I don’t think so, but then I also know that it helps. Because I just like sharing shit. I just miss watching TV with someone else. You know, I was never single my whole adult life and now I am and it’s just daunting. But then there’s also an opportunity to have a clean slate and to be who you are. Because I think slowly you always become who they want you to be.

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Are you in a relationship Lucas?
Yeah, I’m in a solid relationship. Not married yet but the pressure is on. She probably started mentioning it two years ago but I didn’t have any money. I said okay, as soon as I have money we’ll get married, have kids and buy a house. That was two years ago but I still don’t have money.

And how’s the sex?
It’s good. It’s important to me. I think it’d be important to any guy. Out of 100 I’d give it an importance score of 80. I’d kind of put it up there with food. I sometimes get hungry at the same time I’m horny – I don’t think they’re related though.

 Fog. Lucas dabbles in photography. By Lucas Darcy.

So what about hobbies Lucas? You do anything aside from have sex and eat?
Photography. I like taking photos of landscapes. People are too hard, you have to give them directions. There was this one afternoon years ago when it was foggy in the morning and Mike and I worked throughout the day and the fog blew out into the day. Then, as the sun set, in blew back into the city and everything lit up red. I’d never see that before. Nearly ten years working at this building and I’d never seen that before.

So what do you see? Do you ever see anything interesting through the windows?
Everyone always asks us the same question - have you ever seen anyone having sex inside the building.

And have you?
Mike: No, never. I once saw a naked Asian dude taking a shit. I was like man, that guy’s taking a shit! But no, we never really see weird people doing stuff.

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Will you guys do this for the rest of your lives?
Mike: I will. I’m pretty much locked in – third generation, bitches. And I feel perfectly happy about that. At the end of the day it’s just playing the game to get money. You’ve got to play the game. Live the simple life and all that sort of stuff. And just appreciate that.

And what about you Lucas?
I guess so. You see I don’t really know what else I’d want to do. I guess if I knew what else I’d want to do, I’d do it.

Mitch Morgan from Briteway.

Hi Mitch, are you happy?
Mitch: I am. Absolutely.

So what’s the secret?
Always being engaged I think. If I’ve got a challenge or something to improve upon, that keeps me happy.

But you’re basically a window cleaner. Is that a drag?
No because I’m up on the ropes. The most exciting part for me is the set-up and then window cleaning comes second.

Mitch on roof.

What sort of stuff have you seen inside buildings?
Startled people. They don’t know how to react. Some people run up to the window and start waving. A lot of people are rude about it and look away, even if we wave. Sometimes we see people going in and out of the shower but it’s never intentional. A couple of other guys who do the hotels once saw some adult stars or something, just going at it. They saw the window guys but didn’t stop.

Do you ever talk to the people inside?
No but we’ve actually had a guy meet his girlfriend on a building. She was a resident when he was passing by on the outside. They got talking, and now…

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Mitch cleaning.

Did you meet your girlfriend on a building too?
Nah, but she’s the boss’s daughter. Surprisingly that’s a good thing too. I don’t actually deal with my boss on a day-to-day basis, and it wouldn’t be an issue because he’s a nice guy.

And how does your mum feel about you abseiling from buildings?
Well, on Facebook she posts things like “I don’t want to see these photos.” I think she’s getting used to it though. You can tell people what you do but then they see the photos and it hits home.

Are you ever scared?
Not really. But there was a time, working up on the Gold Coast, just this freak tropical storm blew in and took me off the side of the building. For a few seconds I was just flailing out in the air. Yeah, my heart skipped a few beats.

Mitch hanging. Photo from Mitch Morgan.

What advice would you give to someone who’s afraid of heights?
I’m just as afraid of heights as everyone else, if I don’t have equipment that I trust. All of my lack of fear is to do with my equipment. So I’d say if you’re afraid of an activity, read up on the standards and the gear that you’re using.

Are you ever superstitious? If you saw a crow on top of a building would you get down?
Not personally, but there are a fair few British people who work with us. We use two ropes at a time, a red and a black. This British guy was telling me that they don’t use their black as the back-up because they’re superstitious about the colour. They don’t want to have that as their fall-back colour.

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Do you think you’ll do this forever?
Yeah, maybe not the cleaning but I’ll definitely be in this business. As long as I continue learning. That’s really what it’s about —just keep learning.

Cleaning from inside.

 Follow Julian on Twitter: @MorgansJulian

For more happiness:

Are Boxers Happy?

Model Trains And The Secret Of Happiness