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      Ben Nordberg Wants a Set of Wheels for a Penis

      May 31, 2012

      By Geoff Rowley and Chris Grosso

      Ben likes his sushi top-knotch, his lattes sweet, and his women even sweeter! I met Ben a few years back, and since then he has impressed me with his relentless quest to just be himself. He was ripped apart in the van and ridiculed to no end, and he took it all in his stride. Nothing fazed him and I really respect that. He has grown on the board and off. I am very proud of his passion for skateboarding and his loyalty and respect for Flip. Enjoy these pictures people. Sexiest Man out there right now!

      — Geoff Rowley


      Photo by Arto Saari

      VICE: Hello, Ben.
      Ben: What's up?

      You’re from a place called Bath. Where the fuck is that?
      About an hour and a half west of London.

      How long until you move to Hollywood?
      It depends on my visa, but if all goes smoothly, hopefully by the end of July.

      Besides the skating, what else is there for a young man to do in Hollywood?
      If I’m not skating, I’m usually hanging out at a pool somewhere during the day and then venturing out to some kind of disco in the evening.

      How’s the babe watching out there? Do the girls in Bath dress as slutty as the girls in Hollywood?
      Babe levels are high in Hollywood. Girls in Bath think they are classy, but most of them dress like shit.

      Is Bath a pretty conservative place?
      Yeah, it’s pretty middle class. It’s a really nice place to grow up, but I wouldn’t recommend moving there unless you have a lot of money and a family.

      Have any skaters come through there and scared the locals?
      Nah, everyone who comes through tends to be rad, which is normally the way in skating.

      Really? I tend to think of skaters as a rowdy bunch.
      I think they are a pretty mellow bunch, honestly.

      What is the mellowest thing you have ever witnessed a skater do?
      Haha, smoke a joint? That’s pretty mellow, right?

      Speaking of weed, can we talk about your mom's Rasta boyfriend?
      Oh boy. Umm… I guess so. I’m not sure if she will be too hyped on it though.


      Photo by Arto Saari

      How did your mom start dating a Rasta?
      We went on a family holiday to the Caribbean when I was 11, and she met him over there and fell in love, I guess. He lived with us until I was about 15. In the end it didn’t work out between them, but it was kind of a weird experience.

      Did he teach the family about ganja?
      Haha.

      Yes or no?
      No.

      Why do you think he held back his lessons about praising Jah?
      I think at the time I was too young for Jah. I did go through a reggae phase when I was younger, but I never got into weed.

      Did he play a lot of dub around the house?
      Nah, he mainly kept to himself. He would drop the occasional bit of Sizzla though, which I was fully into.

      Hell yeah, Cardiel would be stoked! Do you think you can relate to Cardiel better because you lived with a Jamaican man in your formative years?
      Haha! I think if we engaged in some reggae talk I could hang.

      I know you stay at Arto's [Saari] place when you are in LA. How is that? What do you guys talk about?
      Yeah, Arto is the best—one of the best dudes out there. We talk about anything—skating, girls… just normal guy talk, I guess.

      What kind of guys do you talk about?
      Haha, that came out wrong.


      Photo by Kristina Patterson

      If a young skater had a crush on you, and wrote you a letter, how would you respond?
      Haha! Oh man, these questions are amazing. I would say thanks for the interest, but I’m sorry, I don’t swing that way.

      What if he said you could have an orgy with all the Victoria’s Secret models if you let him pleasure you?
      Hahaha! Nah, I couldn’t do it!

      Really?
      Could you?

      He just wants to give you a handjob to completion. After that—boom, they appear. The models.
      Yeah, but if I just got a handjob I’d have to wait a little bit until I could go again, right? The models might get bored in that time?

      No.
      Or I might get too sleepy?

      They would be doing each other until you were ready.
      Next question! Ahahahahahahaha!

      And there was a mini ramp at the house that you could skate between sex sessions.
      HAHAHAHA!

      You have to answer.
      I am dying of laughter.

      I would say yes.
      You can answer for me.

      OK. As Ben Nordberg, I would entertain a young man's request to give me hand relief in exchange for a perfect 24 hours of sensual pleasure with six women. Back to skating: What tricks in this video fucked you up the most?
      The flip nosepick in Arto’s pool was really hard!

      Which is a worse name for a video: Give Me My Money Chico, or Color Theory?
      Color Theory.

      If you had to switch bodies with another skater, and you had to choose from either Dustin Dollin or Steve Caballero, who would you choose?
      Um… probably have to go with Dustin on that one. Sorry, Steve.

      Would you trade your ability to swallow for the ability to do a Mctwist?
      Definitely not.

      You ever skate after eating four meat pies?
      Can’t say I have.


      Photo by Arto Saari

      If you could go pro tomorrow, but another pro had to die, who would you have killed? You better answer this.
      I don’t wanna kill anyone!

      How about they get hit with a log, but don’t die?
      I’ll probably get beat up if I answer this.

      Oh come on.
      I’ll go with Lutzka.

      If you had to have your dong replaced with either a Thunder truck or a set of Ricta wheels, which would you choose? (Shout out to the sponsors!)
      Haha, I would have to take a set of Ricta's. I think that would be easier than having a big metal truck down there!

      If you had to have either the Tom Penny Cheech and Chong graphic or a portrait of Rune Glifberg tattooed on your forehead, which would you choose?
      Rune, ‘cause he’s my boy!

      Thanks Ben!

      Interview by Chris Grosso

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