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      Catalano Has a Case of Glamour AIDS

      December 3, 2012

      I’m pretty sure Jared Leto lives in Terry Richardson’s studio. There’s always a fucking photoshoot going on for random reasons.

      “Jared Leto in studio asking me about the origin of the word aardvark.”

      “Jared Leto in studio wearing a tiny hat.”

      Last week, Terry posted a picture of Leto weighing three pounds in horn-rimmed glasses with his hair slicked into a pervert’s ponytail. He looked like a dangerous cross between Rachel Maddow and Cynthia Nixon. What followed was a picture of Leto sucking in his miniscule stomach with his t-shirt rolled up to reveal his complete muscle and fat loss since training for his upcoming role as an AIDS victim. Then he took off his glasses to reveal he has no eyebrows, and he proceeded to pose in cabaret-meets-yoga photos, pausing to strangle himself with his own shirt, and then returning with a fur stole. Then he put on Terry Richardson’s wire glasses and took his shirt off for two photos captioned “Jared As Me.” 

      We know that he and Matthew McConaughey are starring in The Dallas Buyer’s Club, where the two have AIDS and the naked bongo player stars as Ron Woodroof, the man fighting to get the proper AIDS/HIV medication into the United States. While Matthew kinda looks more like an emaciated Ron Burgundy for his Ron Woodroof role, Leto is turning this shit into heroin chic. At one point, he’s even in drag and looks like Tracey Ullman minus the carbs.

      Here’s the kicker: Jared Leto’s boyfriend in the film is Deerhunter’s Bradford Cox. That’s probably not the kind of collaboration 30 Seconds To Mars and Deerhunter fans had in mind. 

      Forget all of that for a moment, though. Why did this photoshoot even happen? I get the whole method-acting thing, but why take that off set? Did Catalano really walk into Tino’s studio and be like, “Dude, look how dead I look! Dead fuckin’ sexy! Get your camera ready.” This doesn’t add up. I need to hire Claire Danes to come in and figure out why these two are terrorizing my eyes. Jared Leto, you’re playing a very depressing role, stop trying to make disease look “awesome.” 

      All photos by Terry Richardson.



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