A Chat with a Cliteratress

Usually when I think about romance writers, I picture sad middle-aged women sitting in paisley-printed divans, nursing their pet kittens from their own saggy tits. Laura Moore is not this. Laura Moore is a MILF with eyes of blue crystal and the power to delight or crush your soul. In addition to being a total babe, Moore is also smart as a whip, with a master’s in art history from Columbia University.

You’re probably thinking “WTF is this bitch?” so let me just throw in a couple more highlights from her resume: She gives lectures specializing in medieval arms and armor at the Met, and teaches courses on 19th century British female novelists at RISD. Oh yeah, she also pens filthy sex scenes that got me more than a little moist when I perused her oeuvre. So naturally, I was pretty psyched when Laura agreed to field some questions about the romantic fiction genre that have been keeping me up at night.

VICE: Hey Laura. Firstly, I love that we both use French wordplay as pseudonyms [Laura Moore = L’amour]. My last name means “she has a hot ass,” which is a little less romantic than yours. Anyway, you have a pretty unconventional background for a romance writer. How did you get started?
Laura: My daughter had just started writing stories while going to a pony camp, which brought up all these memories of my youth. I already had a story in my head, and that year my father, who is also a novelist, had a lot of success with his first sex-filled novel. I realized that if he could write sex scenes, it would be OK for me too.

I sometimes get bored reading romance novels every week because they’re often like infinite variations of the same storyline. Why is that?
Romantic literature is a market that feeds the demands of its readers, who voraciously consume up to seven books a week. They’re loyal, so once you get your base, you keep feeding the beast. These are stories that affirm relationships and end on such a positive note that you want more. It’s a kind of addiction.

What are the essential traits of a romantic heartthrob “Fabio” character?
Think of Darcy, Heathcliff, and Rochester. They’re intense, fascinated with their beloved, handsome, strong… and they like sex. Women like men who are interested in the female body and take their time with sex. I also think there’s a level of dissatisfaction in their own sex lives that makes men in the pages that much more wonderful.

Are they just trying to escape their own shitty relationships?
I think all novels are a form of escapism. What really gets me is the notion that this stuff is fluff. Yes, there are badly written romances with howler sentences, but you can find the same thing in any genre. Romance fiction focuses less on the poetry of a sentence, but it’s still a well-told story.

What’s the trick to writing a satisfying love story?
The tenets of a romance novel are embraced by the RWA—Romance Writers of America—a society that we all belong to. According to their definition, the story has to end on an emotionally satisfying note with the promise and anticipation of a committed relationship in the future. That these two people have found true love is assumed. The trick is to make it fresh every time. You make readers believe that they’ve overcome personal difficulties and united—that they have a future. That is what the majority of romance novels are trying to deliver—you have to fulfill a contract with the reader.

Do girls and guys have different sexual imaginations?
If you look at the masculine sex scenes of Philip Roth, Norman Mailer, and John Updike, women are treated as objects whose pleasure is expected. The man is presumably such a good lover we never hear about what he does. In romance novels, the woman’s sensations are a Song of Solomon celebration. There also has to be a sense that each sex scene will take them on a journey of emotional commitment.

But that’s unrealistic. I would definitely get off to a story about a steamy one-night-stand without marriage and pregnancy in the horizon.
Well, there’s an entire genre called “Urban Fantasies” aimed at younger readers like you.

Previously: The Princess and the Penis

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