Cry-Baby #1: Tierra Antigua Elementary School
KOB TV via Reddit
The incident: A woman developed a bad smell as a side effect of her cancer treatment.
The appropriate response: To not be a dick about it.
The actual response: The woman was banned from being in or near her daughters' school.
Kerri Mascareno is a mother of three daughters in Alburquerque, New Mexico. She currently has stage-four breast cancer and is in chemotherapy.
Her daughters, who she referred to as "the fuel that keeps me going," are students at Tierra Antigua Elementary. Last week, she was called in for a meeting with Robert Abney, the school's principal.
“He just said he knows this is going to hurt my feelings and he understands where I’m coming from because his mother had breast cancer and she had the same exact smell,” Kerri told KOB TV, in the above news report which is fucking BRUTAL. “I can no longer be in the school and that with me being in the school, that I made his employees ill.”
The smell that the principal was referring to is a side effect of the chemotherapy Kerri is getting to treat her breast cancer. The chemo smell, which only affects some patients, smells like "moth balls and bad men's cologne," according to this website.
But even standing outside the school wasn't good enough for principal Rob, "He said that he would have to ask me to sit in my car because he could smell me through the window," said Kerri.
Kerri was also told in an email that she would only be allowed to attend the school's annual parent/student Thanksgiving meal if she agreed to eat in an isolated room, away from the other parents and students.
However, after being contacted by the news station that broke the story, the school changed their mind and invited Kristina to eat with everyone else.
Kristina has not yet decided whether or not she will attend the dinner, given the circumstances under which she was invited.
Cry-Baby #2: James Collins
H/t Patrick Johnson
The incident: A guy's neighbors wouldn't drink with him on his birthday.
The appropriate response: Finding someone else to drink with you/moving somewhere with cooler neighbors/maybe developing a better personality, there could be a reason they don't want to drink with you.
The actual response: He called the cops on them.
Earlier this month, James Collins (pictured above) of Fort Pierce, Florida, was celebrating his 56th birthday.
According to police, James called 911 at 8:35 PM.
The 911 dispatcher he spoke to, not fully understanding what James was telling her, thought he was calling to report a domestic disturbance. Several officers were dispatched to James' house.
When the officers arrived, James told them that he'd called 911 because his neighbors were being "mean and would not drink with him."
An officer explained to James that 911 isn't used to report people who aren't fun. They decided not to arrest James, though, and let him off with a warning.
After the police had gone, James called 911 for a second time to report that his neighbors STILL wouldn't drink with him.
The officers returned and arrested James. According to the police report, which was written by a true master of the English language, "the smell that is commonly associated with that of an alcoholic beverage emanated from his mouth and face area."
He was charged with disorderly intoxication and misuse of 911. The police report states that, at the time of his arrest, James had a can of Blue Ice in his pocket.
Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here:
Winner: The puppy killer!!! (obv.)