Cry-Baby of the Week
Feb 1 2013
Cry-Baby #1: An unidentified 21-year-old woman
The incident: A woman knocked over a traffic cone while taking her driving test.
The appropriate reaction: Retaking the test when you can drive a little better.
The actual reaction: She attempted to run over her driving instructor.
The unidentified 21-year-old woman was taking a test at the BMW testing site in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. During the test, she ran over a cone.
Somehow she thought this was her instructor's fault and began to repeatedly yell, "Why didn't you tell me what I was doing?"
When the instructor got out of the car, the woman attempted to run her over. She missed. At which point she probably realized she really wasn't very good at driving after all.
Police have been unable to track down the woman, as she was driving a car with temporary tags.
Cry-Babies #2: The townhouse owners of New York City
The incident: Some people in New York own really big houses.
The appropriate reaction: Gloating. Maybe renting out some extra rooms if you want some additional income.
The actual reaction: Several owners of houses that are just TOO FUCKING BIG allowed themselves to be interviewed for an article in the New York Observer, in which they actually complained about owning homes that are too large. In New York City. One of the most expensive cities to live in on the planet.
Here are some actual quotes from the article:
"'I realized I hadn’t been up to my library in six months. My wife pointed out that neither of us had been to the parlor in the last three,' art dealer Otto Naumann recently confessed to The Observer."
"Prized possessions, like a beloved boat sculpture, were stranded in neglected corners."
"He laughed, admitting that his 4,500-square foot house was, in fact, a little large for his family of four."
"It’s certainly not uncommon to hear people say things like, ‘I haven’t been up there in a couple of years.'"
"The only person who goes to the sixth floor is the maid."
"'We have a client in Carroll Gardens who is very concerned with how many footsteps it will take to go from the garden to the top level,' Mr. King said."
"Perversely, the couple quickly discovered that the elevator made it easier not to get around the house. They were bypassing entire floors without so much as a glimpse from the stair landing for weeks, even months."
POOR GUYS!! Does anyone know of, like, a charity I can donate to to help these guys out or something? Please leave a link in the comments if you do.
So, which of this lot is the bigger cry-baby? Support democracy by letting us know in the poll below:
Winner: The school!!!
Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT
VICE News: London's Holy Turf Wars
VICE Loves Magnum: Peter Marlow's Incredible Photos of Eerie Crises
What Did and Didn't Suck at Record Store Day 2014
The SS Doctor Who Converted to Islam and Escaped the Nazi Hunters
This Guy Is Trying to Collect Every Single Copy of the Movie 'Speed' on VHS
Bad Cop Blotter: Is Obama Finally About to Use His Pardon Powers to Set Prisoners Free?
Weediquette: T. Kid the Cannabis Cup Judge
The Passion of Kim Kardashian
Reality Bites: Did Oprah Winfrey Actually Expect Lindsay Lohan to Find Sobriety on a Reality Show?
Weediquette: The Cannabis Republic of Uruguay - Part 1