Cry-Baby of the Week

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: James Alfredo Valenzuala


via Reddit . Images via Google Maps and Maricopa County Sherrif's Office

The incident: A guy saw a poster of some shirtless men hanging outside of a gay bar.

The appropriate response: If you're into it, reading the details of the poster to see what it's advertising.  If you're not into it, nothing.

The actual response: He set fire to the bar.

Last week, 19-year-old James Alfredo Valenzuela (pictured above, with one of the most detestable faces I have ever seen) was out walking in Phoenix, Arizona. 

While passing by a gay bar called Plazma, he saw a poster for an all-male revue. According to police, this poster featured an image of multiple shirtless men. 

James can be seen on the club's surveillance footage using a lighter to set fire to the poster. Once it became apparent the flames were growing out of control, he hopped over a fence and bailed. 

The manager of a car repair business next door noticed the fire and was able to extinguish it. 

According to the bar owner, the fire caused about $2,000 worth of damage to their building. 

James was arrested five days later. He admitted to police that he'd set the poster on fire because he "did not like" the image of shirtless men. 

According to AZ Family, James is now facing felony arson charges.

Cry-Baby #2: Radu Dogaru


Claude Monet's "Waterloo Bridge", one of the stolen paintings you're gonna read about in a second. Image via, story via Yahoo News

The incident: A guy was part of a gang that stole millions of dollars worth of paintings. 

The appropriate response: I have no idea. Going to prison or something. 

The actual response: He is threatening to sue the museum he took the paintings from, for not making them secure enough. 

Radu Dogaru is one of six Romanian men currently on trial for allegedly stealing several paintings from the Kunsthal Museum in Rotterdam, Netherlands.  

The seven paintings, which included works from Gauguin, Monet, and Picasso, were taken in a predawn raid in October of last year. They were worth an estimated $24 million. 

However, Radu feels he is only partially responsible for stealing them, as, despite their value, none of the paintings were equipped with an alarm. 

Earlier this week, Radu's defence lawyer, Catalin Dancu, told journalists that they were considering taking legal action against the museum for not making sure the paintings were more secure. "We are considering hiring Dutch lawyers to start a legal case in the Netherlands or in Romania."

He explained that they were considering the legal action because, if Radu is found guilty, he will have to pay compensation to the insurers of the paintings. Compensation he feels the museum should have to take some responsibility for, too, for failing to stop Radu and his pals from taking them. Speaking outside of the court, he said, "We can clearly speak of negligence with serious consequences." 

The missing paintings are yet to be recovered. Earlier this year, Radu's mother claimed she had burned the paintings in her stove in an attempt to destroy the evidence against her son. She later retracted what she said, and denied burning them, but experts from Romania's National History Museum tested ashes and nails found in her stove, and said they were the remains of oil paintings. Which makes her retraction seem kinda bullshitty. 

When asked in court where the paintings were, Radu said, "The paintings were certainly not destroyed. I don't know where they are but I believe they have been sold."

If found guilty Radu, faces up to 20 years in prison.
 
Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here. Or, if you want, you can leave something in the comments section saying that I'm the bigger cry-baby because of the whole Bill and Ted thing. Whichever.
 
 
 
Winner: The school!!!
 

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