Cry-Baby of the Week
Apr 5 2013
Cry-Baby #1: Kelly Jones
The incident: A policewoman tripped over a curb while investigating a robbery.
The appropriate response: Laughing it off (even though you're suuuuuper embarrassed).
The actual response: She's suing the owner of the curb.
Last August, a man named Steve Jones (no, not that Steve Jones) suspected a break-in at a gas station he owns in Norfolk, England.
Policewoman Kelly Jones (no, not that Kelly Jones) responded to the call. As she was walking around to the back of the building with Steve to investigate, she tripped over a curb (which you can see in the video embedded above at around the 15-second mark).
Steve helped her up, and they carried on checking for a break-in. He assumed she was fine.
Seven months later, Steve received a letter from a lawyer informing him that he was being sued by Kelly, as he had failed to keep her "reasonably safe" while she was on his property.
Steve Williams, chair of the Police Federation of England and Wales, spoke out in defence of Kelly, saying, "It's important that the public understand that police officers are not financially compensated by their own force for injuries received on duty and in fact can lose money through half pay and reduction in allowances." WAIT. What? The UK doesn't compensate police officers for taking time off as a result of being injured while on duty? The fuck?
While that is, obviously, insane, the fact remains that Kelly is suing another person because she tripped over a fucking curb. Come on, Kell.
Cry-Baby #2: Busta Rhymes
The incident: Someone didn't make Busta Rhymes's cheeseburger exactly the way Busta Rhymes wanted it.
The appropriate response: Complaining (and then retiring because you fucking suck now, Busta Rhymes).
The actual response: Busta (allegedly) had a tantrum so severe that the police had to be called.
Last Wednesday, at around 6 AM, Busta visited Cheeseburger Baby in Miami, Florida.
According to the restaurant's staff, Busta didn't want to have to wait for his burger, so he demanded to skip straight to the front of the line. They told him he could not, so he went outside and waited in his car.
His burger was taken out to him by a server, who then went back inside.
This is when Busta (allegedly) went back into the restaurant and freaked out: "[Busta] started becoming outwardly angry. He was calling our delivery driver Santiago a 'fag' multiple times, and me a 'bitch' and [telling] me 'to shut the fuck up' because we put his salt, pepper, ketchup, and mayo—that he asked for—on the side," said Stephanie Vitori, owner of Cheeseburger Baby, in an interview with the Miami New Times.
Stephanie says that she explained to Busta that they always serve their condiments on the side, as they don't want customers' burgers getting soggy. But this wasn't good enough for Busta, who carried on shouting at people, causing Stephanie to call the police.
Busta bailed before the police arrived. But, as he was still not done venting his frustration, he called the restaurant to complain that there was no cheese on his cheeseburger (a claim that Stephanie STRONGLY denies). Stephanie also says that, while he was on the phone, Busta threatened to "come get us." AHAHAHAHAHA! Fucking moron.
Which one of these guys is a bigger cry-baby? Let us know in the comments below. It's really important.
Winner: Dick face!!!
Follow Jamie on Twitter: @JLCT
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