Cry Baby of the Week
Jan 18 2013
It's time once again to name-and-shame some ickle sad grumpy-pants:
Cry-Baby #1: Ed McGovern
The incident: Some lesbians ate in a restaurant.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: Ed McGovern, the owner of the restaurant, handed them a note telling them that God hated them and they were hurting everyone around them.
Shawnee McPhail and her wife Ariel ate a meal at the Stingray Cafe in New Bern, North Carolina early last month. As they were leaving, owner Ed handed them a note which read (all "sic" btw):
"God said in the Last days that man and women, would be Lover of self, more then the Lover of God.
That man and women would have uNNatural effection for oNe aNothER, Then the ComiNg of the soN of maN who is Jesus. So plEase Look at your lifE see how it hurt Every one around your, and ask the Lord to open your Eye. before it to LatE.
The Love of Christ
P.S. my daughter also was gay
it destroy her Life and my grandson"
Though he refused to be interviewed on camera, Ed confirmed to his local news station that he did hand the couple that note, and gave out similar notes to other gay couples in the past. He didn't mention why he waited until after he'd taken the couple's money before handing it to them, so we'll just have to assume it's because he's a total dick.
Cry-Baby #2: Austin Davis
The incident: Someone farted in a car.
The appropriate response: As discussed last week—either laughing or being quietly repulsed, depending on how lame you are.
The actual response: Unable to determine which of his children was responsible for the fart, Austin Davis (pictured above) beat all three of them.
Austin, whose head is shaped exactly like an upturned dreidel, was driving with his three children in DeLand, Florida. At some point during the journey, one of the kids farted.
Austin flew into a rage, and demanded to know which of the kids was responsible. All three kids refused to talk (go kids!), so Austin removed his belt and beat all three of the children with it (boooooo, dad!)
A female relative took photos of the children's injuries, and gave them to local police, who arrested Austin and charged him with three counts of aggravated battery.
Apparently, the photos showed a six-year-old with "dark bruising to the legs, buttocks, and thighs," a 12-year-old with "dark bruises on his legs and thighs," and a nine-year-old refused to have pictures of his bruises taken because he feared retaliation if his dad found out he'd told on him.
So, which one of these cunts is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in the poll below:
Winner: The dude who hates farts!!!
Follow Jamie on Twitter - @JLCT
Seven Important Truths About How the World Takes Drugs in 2014
Our E-Cigarettes Are Going to Melt Our Faces and Burn Our Houses Down
Owning Porno Used to Mean Something, Damnit
Photos of the Bathrooms and Kitchens of America's Bachelors
Stop Panicking About Getting Older, You Pricks
How Airbnb Makes Tax Day So Much Worse
Advice for the Twitter Professional at US Airways Who Tweeted Hardcore Porn
VICE News: Love, Serve, Surrender: An Alleged Pedophile's Perfect Scam
Do Politicians Give a Shit About Climate Change Now?
The Duke Porn Star Is Pornhub's Newest Intern