Cry-Baby of the Week

It's time to have a giigle at the expense of a couple of butthurt morons again!

Cry-baby #1: Abby Wolfson

(via)
The incident: Some children had a water balloon fight in a park in Brooklyn.

The appropriate reaction: Watching the kids and smiling, then maybe feeling a tiny bit sad inside because that part of your life is over, and you're never going to have such carefree fun ever again. But then going back to smiling, because seeing kids having fun is great.

The actual reaction: According to an article in The Brooklyn Paper, concerned parent Abby Wolfson started a "lively discussion" on a "local listserv." I don't know what that means, either. I assume it's something Brooklyn indie-douche-parents do on the internet that I would FUCKING HATE, so I'm not going to google it. Then she was interviewed by the paper, and had her picture taken, and said stuff like “I’m a big believer in bumped heads and skinned knees, but it’s my responsibility to make sure my kid isn’t putting garbage and things she can choke on in her mouth. Maybe we could have a sign that says ‘Please keep water balloons out of the toddler area,’ and have another that says, ‘Please clean up.’"

Eugh. Just look at her fucking face in that picture. She's so disappointed! Who has time to go and be interviewed and pose for a photo about this shit? Has she not been to a park before? Can babies not choke on acorns or stones or bottle caps or parts of their own clothing? Just keep an eye on your fucking kid, lady.

Also, the skin on her baby's foot is a completely different color to the skin on the rest of its body. Which is neither here nor there, but it's pretty weird, right? IDK much about babies.

Cry-baby #2: David Fox

(via)
The incident: A guy was photographed for the cover of a Placebo album as a child.

The appropriate reaction: Telling people about it at parties as a cool story.

The actual reaction: Though he hasn't taken any legal action yet, David is planning to sue Placebo, claiming that being on their album cover ruined his life.

According to David, the photograph was taken of him by a cousin and used for the album cover without his consent. When the album blew up, he became a local celebrity overnight and began to get bullied by kids at school as a result. “I ended up staying in, playing on the computer or in the back garden. I had no brothers or sisters to play with. It was really lonely," says David, before going on to explain that the bullying caused him to drop out of school, get sent away to a boarding school for kids with behavioral issues, and ultimately fail his GCSEs. Concluding: "If I didn't have all these problems at school I might have taken my GCSEs, got a better job and even achieved my ambition of owning a nightclub. Now I'm out of work and would take any job I can find."

Actually, this does sound like a pretty shitty deal. Is this guy even a cry-baby? It seems unlikely that just this one event would lead to his present unemployment/depression. But Placebo (or their people, or whoever decides these things) could maaaaybe have asked the kid before making him a sleb. Am I being harsh?

So who is the biggest cry-baby? Let us know in the poll below so that we can shame one of these self-serious pussies forever.

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previously: iPad Gay Porn Uncle Vs. Racist Boyband Hating Blogger

Winner: Racist Boyband Hating Blogger!

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