Cry-Baby of the Week
Jun 13 2014
It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Sandra and Maria Hayward
Screencap via the Portsmouth News
The incident: Two women were fined for dropping their cigarette butts on the ground.
The appropriate response: Not dropping shit on the floor.
The actual response: They contacted their local paper to complain about how they'd been treated.
Some time towards the end of last month, Sandra Hayward and her sister-in-law Maria Hayward stopped for a smoke on a park bench in Havant, near Portsmouth.
After finishing their cigarettes, they dropped them on the floor. They did this despite the bench being next to a trash can.
As they were walking away from the bench, they were approached by a warden who hit each of them with a $125 littering fine.
Sandra contacted her local paper, the Portsmouth News, who ran a story featuring a photo of the two women sitting on the bench, holding up their fine and looking sad.
"We just couldn't believe it," 50-year-old Sandra told the paper. "We didn't know what was going on when [the warden] came up to us and at first we thought it was a scam."
Sandra then offered this excuse for throwing the butts on the ground: "My sister[-in-law] is disabled following a stroke, and I am diabetic. Because of that we didn't even realise we'd dropped the cigarette butts. We tried to explain this to him, but he wouldn't listen." He probably didn't listen because being too diabetic to realize you're littering is not a thing.
"We've both been in tears ever since," she added.
According to the paper, more than 250 fines have been handed out in the area over the past three weeks. Almost all of them were given to people dropping cigarettes.
Cry-Baby #2: Martin Elementary School
The incident: A boy found a toy gun in his school bag and handed it in to his teacher.
The appropriate response: Thanking the boy for sticking to the school rules.
The actual response: The boy was thrown out of school.
On June 4, seven-year-old Darin Simak was in a class at Martin Elementary School in Pittsburgh.
Unbeknownst to him, there was a toy gun in his backpack, which his mom had left in there by accident.
He discovered the toy sometime around lunch. As Darin knew that it was against the rules to have a toy gun on school property, he immediately took it to his teacher.
The teacher followed the school's procedure and reported Darin to the principal. As bringing the toy gun to school violated a rule that states any student who brings "replicas of weapons" onto school property will be expelled "for a period of not less than one year," the principal immediately suspended the boy, pending an expulsion hearing with the school's superintendent.
Speaking to a local news channel, the boy's father said he disagreed with the school's decision. "He did the right thing, and we're trying to teach him the right way," he said. "And now they're teaching him the wrong way."
The dad said he was going to send his son to a local theme park for the day, "so he can have a nice day and so he doesn't feel like he's punished."
After two days of suspension (and some media attention), it was decided that Darin would be allowed to return to school.
At the time of going to press, the toy gun and another toy (a sticky lizard) had reportedly not been returned to Darin.
So who's the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll:
Winner: The homophobic stamp people!!!
Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.
I Attended a Juggalo Wedding at the Gathering of the Juggalos
I Hunted Feral Hogs in Florida as a Favor to the World
My Week with Sydney
Reasons Why Comic-Con Is the Worst Place Ever
An Interview with a Guy Who Can't Sleep Because He Is Afraid of Dying
A Rigged Indian Casino Karaoke Contest Was the Low Point of My Life
The Jim Norton Show: Mike Tyson and Dana White - Part 2
Should We Look at and Share Photos of Dead Civilians in Gaza?
A Few Impressions: Watch James Franco's Short Film, 'The Clerk's Tale,' Based on a Poem by Spencer Reece
One of Our Writers Went on an All-Alcohol Diet for a Week