It's time for us all to laugh at some tools who are scared of the world!
Cry-Baby #1 - Ashley Steinschauer
The incident: A gift shop sold some raunchy seaside postcards with bare asses on them.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Maybe buying one and sending it to a friend, if you're the kind of person who does that sort of thing.
The actual response: Ashley Steinschauer, an assistant minister at the local church, called the police.
The local police, who were super bored because they'd just gotten through solving every single crime to ever occur in the area, visited the shop and questioned shop-owner Ian Donald (picture above) over the postcards, before passing the complaint on to Trading Standards.
Speaking to a local paper, the assistant minister who lodged the complaint said, "I was shocked to see the postcard on sale right outside the shop. It’s damaging the image of the town and making it look sleazy. I think it shows a real shift in morality and it’s got to stop."
Are there any proper journalists reading this who know how to do that thing where you obtain a recording of a police call? I would fucking KILL to hear what he said to the operator. I bet he was choking back tears. Seriously, if anyone knows how to do this, get in touch. I will pay you $100.
Cry-Baby #2 - Thomas Amons
The incident: Thomas Amons, the principal of a community college in Texas, thought that one of the people enrolling in his school's cosmetology course looked gay.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: It's illegal to bar someone from public education based on their sexuality in Texas. But Mr. Amons, who is also a deacon at a nearby Baptist church, really didn't want a gay guy in his college. So he decided to just cancel the entire cosmetology course instead.
After the class' instructor, Cequena Clark spoke to local news outlets about what happened, her employment with the college was terminated. Which seems like it should be really really illegal.
Speaking of the incident, Cequena said “I made up in my mind, I’m not going to compromise or lie for anyone. I love my job—love it, love it, love it—but I have to stand up for what’s right.”
You'd think that, as both a principal and a deacon, Thomas Amons would have more important things to worry about. His school's website, which looks like it was designed by Clarissa on Geocities, for instance.
Who is the bigger cry-baby? Help us decide in the poll below. Pleeeeeeeeeeease!
Winner: The Creationists!
Follow Jamie on Twitter - @JLCT