Cry-Baby of the Week
Jun 28 2013
Cry-Baby #1: San Diego Police Department
The incident: A guy wrote some stuff on the sidewalk in chalk.
The appropriate response: Nothing.
The actual response: He was arrested and now faces jail time.
Jeff Olson wrote the chalk graffiti on the sidewalks outside several banks in San Diego, California.
He wrote slogans like "no thanks big banks" and "shame on Bank of America," as well as the URLs of anti-bank websites. Again, just in case it's not clear, he wrote them in CHALK.
After a "high ranking bank security official" complained to police, Jeff was arrested and charged with thirteen counts of vandalism.
"I was encouraging folks to close their accounts at big Wall Street banks to transfer their money local nonprofit, community credit unions," said Jeff. "Free speech is protected. Just because you don't like what it says doesn't mean that you can't do it, If I had drawn a little girl's hopscotch squares on the street, we wouldn't be here today."
Each count of vandalism that Jeff was charged with carries a maximum penalty of 1[ year in jail and a $1,000 fine. Meaning Jeff could potentially spend 13 years in jail as a result of his chalk vandalism. For writing on a sidewalk. In chalk.
Cry-Baby #2: Houston Police Department
The incident: A guy made a high school massacre joke on Facebook.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Telling him he's a dick, maybe.
The actual response: He was arrested and has been in jail for the 3 months.
Back in February, 18-year-old Justin Carter from Houston, Texas got into an argument with two people on Facebook about the game League of Legends.
According to Justin's father, one of these people wrote, "you're insane, you're crazy, you're messed up in the head." To which Justin responded, "yeah, I'm really messed up in the head, I'm gonna go shoot up a school full of kids and eat their still beating hearts. LOL JK."
This post was seen by an unnamed busybody in Canada who managed to track down Justin's address online. After looking it up on Google Maps and seeing that he lived near to a school, she called the police.
Several weeks later, on March 27th, Justin was arrested and charged with making a terroristic threat.
A search of Justin's home turned up no weapons. He has been in jail awaiting trial since.
“These people are serious. They really want my son to go away to jail for a sarcastic comment that he made," said Justin's dad, in an interview with his local news station. Adding, "These kids, they don't realize what they're doing. They don't understand the implications. They don't understand public space."
If found guilty, Justin faces up to eight years in prison.
Which of these police departments is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll:
Winner: The homophobic museum!!!
AssMatrix.com Analyzes the Asses of the Masses
Should We Televise the Trials of Famous Murderers?
Having a Tibetan Sky Burial Means Birds Will Slowly Eat Your Corpse
I Had to Survive London Fashion Week on Free Gifts Alone
The Scottish Independence Campaign Lost Because It Didn't Win Over Glasgow's Poor
Time-Travel Movies Are Garbage
Cambodian Surf Rockers Were Awesome, but the Khmer Rouge Killed Them
I Dressed Like an Idiot at Fashion Week to See How Easy It Is to Get Street-Snapped
The Ultimate Basic Bitch Tournament
The Future of Our Gay Neighborhoods