Dear VICE - Here Is a Spoon

In our new issue, The Issue that Cares, our lesbian reviews editor gave The Pack A.D.'s new album, Unpersons, a puke face for sounding "like a segue between acts of freewheeling' lesbo debauchery." So when a manilla envelope from The Pack A.D. was plopped on our desk this morning, we expected anthrax.

Instead of white powder or a lesbian letter bomb, when we opened up the package we found a lone grapefruit spoon. After serious inspection, the only thing we know for certain about this spoon is that it was made in Japan out of stainless steel. We have a few theories re: why two ladies in Canada would send us a grapefruit spoon, but we aren't sure about any of them. Do they want us to eat their asses? Do we need to "dig" deeper to hear Unpersons' real message? Are we sour, like a grapefruit?

Quite frankly, we are at a loss. If you know why The Pack A.D. sent us a grapefruit spoon, please let us know in the comments.