FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

The VICE Guide to Right Now

Drunk Guy in Minnesota Falls and Gets Impaled, Pulls Out Fence Posts Himself, Is Fine

There are a lot of reasons not to do this, but it seems to have worked out for this guy.

Via Flickr user Yellow.Cat

According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, an unnamed 30-year-old man in Golden Valley, Minnesota was hot-tubbing while drunk on Saturday night when he fell and landed on an "ornate fence." Posts impaled his upper leg and the fire department had to be called to cut him loose.

After freeing the man and getting him onto a stretcher, emergency workers instructed him to leave the posts in his leg so they could be removed by trained, sober people in a sterile environment (the hospital). He reportedly ignored their warnings, reached down, and pulled them out himself.

Advertisement

The unnamed drunk guy might have picked up this move from Wez in Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior. And while it's true pulling foreign objects out of your body all willy nilly is badass and a great way to establish your character as a lunatic, emergency medical guides are actually pretty clear on the appropriate course of action, and say that removing even a small foreign object can cause further injuries if it's not done correctly.

In this case, though, the owner of the home and damaged fence, Mike Opsahl, told the Star Tribune that "the individual is doing fine," and that he was discharged from the hospital on Sunday.

Want More In-Depth Stories About the Hazards of Being Drunk?

1. Here's How Much You Can Drink Before It Kills You
2. If You're Drunk, It Might Seem Like a Good Idea to Buy Thousands of Live Insects
3. Being Drunk and Being a Secret Service Agent Don't Mix 4. Sometimes You Just Need to Quit Drinking Altogether

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.