E-mail Correspondence with Komen for the Cure

The following correspondence is from a manuscript of e-mails titled "Letters of Interest," by Fred Sasaki. Subjects arise from spam and angst, anger and absurdity, frustration and fuckall—Eros and Thanatos from in-box to in-box. Enter to witness non-consensual collaborative narrative—they asked for it. 

[We have left the following emails unedited in the interest of full disclosure and larfs—Ed.]

Begin forwarded message:

Join Rick Bayless and Gale Sayers this Friday!
22 messages

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From: Dancing W/ Chicago Celebrities <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 9:32 PM
Subject: Join Rick Bayless and Gale Sayers this Friday!

Dear Fred,

You're Invited to Dancing With Chicago Celebrities Legends Ball

Rick Bayless, Gale Sayers and a host of other Chicago Celebrities invite YOU to join us THIS FRIDAY, March 12th, at the Hyatt Regency – Chicago. Click HERE to purchase your tickets and learn more about the event. Online ticket sales end on Thursday at 5:00 PM, however, tickets may be purchased at the door. Cocktails will be served at 6:00 PM and the show will begin promptly at 7:15 PM.

Don’t miss your opportunity to be a part of this fabulous event! Please call our office at 773-444-0061 if you should have any questions about the event. We hope to see you there.

To see a video of the event click here.

Have you logged in to our new website yet? When registering for events you'll need to log in with your NEW username and password. The log in button is in the upper right hand corner of every page on our website:

Username: fredsasaki@gmail.com
Password: hen366hen

Thank you,

Patricia Rowland
Affiliate Board President
Chicagoland Area Affiliate

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From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Dancing W/ Chicago Celebrities <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 9:54 PM
Subject: Re: Join Rick Bayless and Gale Sayers this Friday!

Dear Dancing with Chicago Celebrities,

I'd like to attend the fifth annual Dancing with Chicago Celebrities, and have a quick question that isn't answered on the website.

Can you help me?

Thanks,

Fred Sasaki

***

From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 9:02 AM

Please call me today with your question.

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant
T 773-444-0061
F 773-444-0071
****@komenchiago.org
Chicagoland Area Affiliate of Susan G. Komen For The Cure®
8765 W. Higgins Rd. Suite 401 – Chicago, IL 60631
Office: 773-444-0061 - Fax: 773-444 0071 - National Help Line: 877-465-6636
www.komenchicago.org

“Imagine Life Without Breast Cancer”

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 10:26 AM

Hi Star!

I like your name. It's so flashy and appropriate!

My question is who are the other Chicago celebrities dancing? I like Rick Bayles, his tortas, and his television show (even though I used to hate it, because of his staged-natural speaking manner), but I do not want to dance with him too much. Who else can I dance with?

Thanks in advance,

Fred

***

From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 10:36 AM

Good Morning Fred,

Thank you for the kind words! It’s gotten my day off to a great start. To answer your question, and give you a little extra information: Dancing With Chicago Celebrities is an annual star-studded charity ball presented by Arthur Murray in Chicago to raise funds for the fight against breast cancer. Once again this year , all net proceeds will be donated to the Chicagoland affiliate of Susan G. Komen For the Cure.

The Fifth Annual Dancing with Chicago Celebrities will take place Friday, March 12, 2010, featuring some wonderful Chicago celebrities who are taking to the dance floor to join the fight against breast cancer. And, we're thrilled to welcome to Chicago professional judge Nick Kosovich from ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" and Snow Urbin from "So You Think You Can Dance."

Join us and many of our sparkling alumni including 2006 Champion Rick Bayless, worldreknowned chef from Frontera Grill, 2008 Champion Dina Bair from WGN, 2008 competitor, ABC's own Roz Varon, and welcoming back as emcee , Nick Kosovich from Dancing with the Stars. This years competitors include Valerie Warner, Melissa Foreman, Gale Sayers, Erin O'Connor, Mancow and many more. We'll have a live auction featuring once in a lifetime prize packages, a raffle, fabulous food, great company, terrific professional shows and lots and lots of dancing. We hope to see you there!

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant

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From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 10:50 AM

Hi Star!

Now you made MY day! I am so happy that we both got a great start! I love kind words!

But I'm still not happy with the list of celebrities in your list below. I saw those names on the website. Valerie Warner is really great and a very underrated newscaster (she can sing and dance, you know), but even still she isn't the sort of Chicago celebrity I had in mind for dancing time. Who else do you have?

Fred

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From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 10:54 AM

Cara,

I don’t know what else to tell this gentleman. Please Advise.

Star

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 10:56 AM

Whoops. Hi Star! Thanks for looking into this. I like your style. Please do loop in Cara.

Thanks so much,

Fred

***

From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 12:29 PM

Fred,

We can only hope that you will be completely satisfied with the events details! This event is laid out to be fun, festive, and a night to remember. You sound as if you have the personality to ensure some lively moments with your sense of humor. The following info is all that I have available and I hope someone will entice your interest. I’m not sure which Chicago Celebrities you have in mind, but our list is as follows:

2010 Celebrities Scheduled to Appear
Gale Sayers
Erin O'Connor (Miss Illinois)
Valerie Warner (WGN)
Erich "Mancow" Muller (WLS-AM)
Matt Rodewald (NBC 5)
Mai Martinez (CBS 2)
D. C. Crenshaw

Alumni Scheduled to Appear:
Top Chef Winner Rick Bayless
Dana Kozlov
Dina Bair
Mike Adamle
Ginger Zee
Amy Jacobson
Lisa Aprati
Katie Lorenz

Thanks Again,

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 12:59 PM

Hi Star,

Boy I love saying Star!

You got me pegged! I have the personality to ensure lively moments with my sense of humor! LOL! But, hrm. I don't really know anyone on that list other than Valerie Warner. And Rick Bayless, and you see how I feel about Rick Bayless.

I was more thinking about Daryl Hannah, Jenny McCarthy, or Hilary Clinton. You know Daryl Hannah babysat my first girlfriend ever? I'll bring that up during the dance! Tell me what a great pickup line that is!

What do you think? Can we have them instead?

Fred

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From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 2:03 PM

Fred,

I think we may be a little too far along to recreate the event now... However, I love the set-up. Maybe we can request some of these people on next year....with compliments to you of course for the idea...

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 4:28 PM

Oh that is so wonderful, Star. Let me do some more research and come up with a new list of Chicago celebrities. We'll be dancing forever!

Fred

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Mon, Apr 26, 2010 at 12:00 AM

Hi Star,

It's been a while since we were last in touch! How have you been? Shining, I assume! LOL!

How did the Dancing with Chicago Celebrities go? I am so disappointed that I was unable to attend but I stepped on my foot and couldn't make it. But, I've been thinking about your offering to have me organize the Chicago Celebrities Dancing in 2011. My answer is Yes! I didn't think I'd say yes given that I am very busy, but the city, the celebrities, and the dancing convinced me that this is a jig I can't sit out. So I'm yours!

Last night as I fell asleep an idea popped in my head. I have the main idea that will take this event really to the stars (where you belong! LOL!). Are you ready? Two words. Nancy Reagan. Nancy Reagan went to my high school and I'm sure I can get in touch with her through the receptionist. Do you know the school? I won't say the name out of modesty, but you seem like a chicken who knows! LOL!

Get her, we're gold. That's my motto. Can you imagine how big this will be with Nancy Reagan? We can play some nice music or silence for Ronal Reagan or just not even mention it. Either way I call first dance!

I also found a bunch of other celebrities that I'm putting on the list. I've stated writing to some of them! Some have said Yes already but I haven't replied yet. And I have been asked what is the budget. Some want an airplane and hotel and special things and others just want five thousand dollars. Which reminds me, how much are you going to pay me? And how many dancers do we need? I've written to a lot of people.

Here are the people we want. I put a "star" by the ones that I've contacted and an "X" by the ones that have already agreed, and a "$" by the ones that we need to negotiate money for. And a "question mark" by ones that I'm not sure if we should contact. We're off to a great start!

YES
X Tim Hardaway
X Dick Butkus
X Mr. T.
X Marilu Henner
X John C. Reilly
X Danny Lloyd

MONEY
$ Fred Savage
$ Don Magic Juan
$ Jody Watley
$ Robin Williams (I didn't know he was born in Chicago!)

WAITING FOR REPLY
* Rahm Emanuel
* Barak Obama
* Dwayne Wade
* Garry Shandling
* Quincey Jones
* Joe Montegna
* Solja Boy
* Harrison Ford
* Shawnna
* Lisa Guerrero
* Patricia Arquette
* Gabrielle Union
* Hugh Hefner & Playmates (As many as he wants to bring)

MAYBE
? R. Kelly
? Hilary Clinton (Backup if Nancy Reagan says no)
? Jennifer Hudson
? Maria Shriver
? Terrence Howard
? Mel Torme
? Jack Benny
? Michael Crichton
? Clayton Moore
? Michael Gross or Tom Bosley
? Lou Rawls
? Karl Malden
? John Belushi

Daryl Hannah and Jenny McCarthy are still on the table but you didn't seem too excited about them.

OK! I did a lot of work in a little time. So you see I've hit the ground running so let's be in touch tomorrow.

Yours,
Fred

PS. Another idea I just had is pretty great. Let's do a Florenz Ziegfeld theme. That would work really well especially if we get Hefner.

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 5:52 PM

Hey Star,

TGIF...almost!

Please check in re: my ideas for dancing. I'm really on to something and really have to respond to people now. Fred Savage is leaving me messages wanting to confirm date and time and money.

Anything else?

Yrs,

Fred

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Mon, May 3, 2010 at 12:50 PM

Hey Star!

It's been a week and I don't know what to do about the dancing. Let's check in. Should I call or stop by the office?

Fred

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From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, May 3, 2010 at 2:09 PM

Karen,

Please look at the email below. I believe this gentleman might be reaching out some people in the name of Komen. How do I respond to him? He’s trying to recruit ppl for our next DWCC....

Please Advise

Star

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From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Mon, May 3, 2010 at 2:26 PM

Hi Star,

So glad to hear from you. I have indeed been reaching out to people for the big show! I'm so glad to be on board. My list details the status of my inquiries for you ease. Some people off the waiting list have responded but are mostly asking for money and things. I really should reply to the money people right away as I don't know what the budget it. Who ever knew Fred Savage needs work so bad?! LOL!

Also what's my official title?

Yours, as ever,

Fred

***

From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, May 4, 2010 at 11:00 AM

Good Morning Fred,

I received your email on yesterday, please pardon me for following up so late, as I was out of the office on office on Friday. Returning to the office and seeing your emails, I wanted to be sure that I was giving you all correct information before I replied.

We are always excited to have new and enthused volunteers come aboard and lend their time and efforts for our cause. If you are looking to become involved as a volunteer, or if you have a sincere desire to assist with our fundraisers, you will need to speak with Cara Belvin - our Special Events Manager. Cara can be reached at 773-444-0061 if you should have any questions/concerns regarding upcoming events. Cara works with numerous volunteers and would be able to give you all needed information on what roles are available to for interested applicants. However, no volunteers are expected or ever asked to secure Sponsors/Participants for any of our events.

Again, Thank you Fred, for your passion and willingness to help Susan G. Komen for the Cure in the fight against breast cancer. If you wish to obtain additional information on how you can help, please consider contacting Cara Belvin at 773-444-0061.

Best,

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Tue, May 4, 2010 at 11:57 AM

Hi Star,

I'm totally confused. You asked me to help plan the party and now you're giving me the runaround?

I have already contacted lots of dancers so what's the deal? What am I supposed to tell them now? These are REAL Chicago celebrities. These are NOT the kind of people you can toy with like a dance-move lasso trick. Send me Cara's e-mail so I can forward to her my e-mail with my Chicago famous people.

Or I'll just send them Cara's phone number?

Fred

***

From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, May 4, 2010 at 12:58 PM

Fred,

Please accept my sincere apologizes for any miscommunications that has brought us to this point. If you refer back to one of my past emails you’ll notice that I never asked you to plan the next Dancing with Chicago Celebrities. My suggestions were in regards to your dismay with our guest list. See below:

On Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 2:03 PM, Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org> wrote:

Fred,

I think we may be a little too far along to recreate the event now...

However, I love the set-up. Maybe we can request some of these people on next year....with compliments to you of course for the idea...

Again, I apologize if I said anything to you that was unclear or misleading. Cara has a copy of the previous email containing your guest list. She will be more than happy to take your call and the calls of any interested participants. Cara Belvin can be reached at 773-444-0061. Feel free to reach out to her with any concerns that you may have.

Best,

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant

***

From: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
To: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
Date: Fri, May 7, 2010 at 1:32 PM

Hi Star,

I'm really upset and have been afraid to look at this e-mail. I don't know what to do. Fred Savage is really angry it seems. I told him that we changed our mind and he is irate. Jody Watley isn't pleased either and I'd rather unload this all to someone who can tell them the business. Or do you think we can just ignore all the e-mails I'm getting? I think that would work really well. Let me know. Will you copy Cara here for advice?

Thanks,
Fred

***

From: Star Lacey <****@komenchicago.org>
To: Fred Sasaki <fredsasaki@gmail.com>
Cc: Cara Belvin <*******@komenchicago.org>

Date: Fri, May 7, 2010 at 1:53 PM

Good Afternoon Fred,

Cara will be more than happy to take your call and the calls of any interested participants. Cara Belvin can be reached at 773-444-0061. Feel free to reach out to her with any concerns that you may have.

Best,

Star Lacey
Executive Assistant