Fabio Might Have a Lamborghini but He Doesn't Have Love

By Wester van Gaal

 

There weren't many people who were as big a deal in the 90s as Fabio, the actor-cum-model-cum-author-cum-fitness-guru. The guy and his astounding hair graced the cover of more than 400 romance novels, took the role of the Marlboro Man, appeared on countless episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful, and starred in ad campaigns for Gianni-era Versace. The only thing he could have done to epitomize the 90s more was to blow Arsenio Hall on the set of Boy Meets World, but, as desperate as we all are to see it, I don't think he's going to deliver on that one. 

Fabio and his Greek God-like presence dominated many of my childhood afternoons, so when the opportunity to meet the man behind the jaw presented itself, I jumped at the chance and grabbed it by every strand of that luscious, conditioned, beautiful head of hair.

VICE: Hi Fabio. Wow, your hair looks great!
Fabio Lanzoni:
Thanks. Your hair also looks great. It matches your face.

Don't you think I need a haircut?
No, some men are made for short hair. Other men are made for long hair. They’re wilder. Like you and me!
 
If you were an animal, what would you be?
A lion. I mean, compare a lion to a deer. A lion has a mane. But, if you look at the deer and you give him a mane, it looks weird. It doesn't work.

I guess not.
I own 222 motorcycles. [Fabio shows me a picture of one of his motorcycles.] This is the one I bought yesterday. Cool, right?
 
Do you have a Lamborghini as well?
Yes.

That's cool.
Thanks.


The horse: nature's Lamboghini.


You’ve got a lot of stuff, don't you?
I'm very spiritual. When I'm cruising around on my bike I feel completely free, but I share my possessions. My friends can always borrow my motorcycles. Even if they end up crashing them, it’s OK with me. A lot of people are obsessed with their possessions, but that's not right. It's OK to own a lot of things, as long as you're willing to share them.

You're a wise man. What are you proud of?
My life.

Your life in its entirety?
Yes. Every part of it. You can earn billions of dollars and still get sick of living. Life is like a Lamborghini. A Lamborghini has an engine, a body and wheels. No matter how strong your engine is, if you don't have any wheels, you’re not going anywhere.

Haha, you compared life to a Lamborghini.
Yes, I did. Everybody gets it. It’s like a…

Metaphor?
Yes! Do you ever wonder why God sent Jesus Christ to earth as a carpenter?

Not really.
Well, I do. A simple man with a simple message can reach anybody. If God had sent Einstein instead of a carpenter, nobody would have understood him.

I get it; life shouldn't be too complicated. But doesn't life ever take its toll on you?
No. I'm very stable.


Fabio was one of the lucky few to take the first ride on a new roller coaster in Williamsburg,Virginia. The roller coaster was built directly within the regular flight path of a flock of geese and Fabio was hit in the face at 70 mph by one of those geese. He attempted to sue the people who built the roller coaster, but they ended up settling out of court. He didn't want to talk about it when I asked him.

Fabio, is there something missing in your life?
Yes. Love. There are more important things than one's career and one's body. Love is the most important thing in life. All the other things are infatuations. I knew true love 20 years ago, but I ruined it. I put my career first. Even my mother told me to choose my career over love. But it was a mistake. You must never let go of true love. You'll only experience it once. Women don't have morals anymore. The only thing they care about is what you can do for them.

I'm sorry.
Don't be! I enjoy my freedom. A lot. 

Not to blow our own horn, but working at VICE means we get to rub shoulders with celebrities aaall the time. Here's some proof:

Cornel West

Melvin Van Peebles

Terrence Winter

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