Filibustin' with Willie D - Romney and Obama Need to Read My Jobs Plan
Jun 12 2012
Like clockwork, every eight or nine years the economy takes a dive. The stock market plunges, people get laid off, and businesses suffer financial losses because Americans are hardcore capitalists and we allow self-interest and greed to impede our rationality and common sense. So we make short-term decisions that are lucrative for business but produce long-term economic disasters.
Take outsourcing for example. Ronald Reagan became the poster boy for outsourcing in the 80s and Bush senior took it to the next level in the 90s. The cheap labor in countries like China, India, and Mexico meant lower prices for Americans and huge profits for shareholders. Everything was cool until the number of Americans looking for work outgrew the number of jobs available.
If unemployment is high when Americans go to the polls for the 2012 Elections, the Republicans will say it is because of Barack Obama. If it is not, they will say it is low despite Obama. The President’s joke of an opponent, Mitt Romney, has said he will get the current unemployment rate down to six percent by the end of his first term if the American people vote for him. But we seem to be headed towards that goal anyway with Obama at quarterback.
So what is Obama doing about all of this? In the past twenty-seven months he has added 4.3 million jobs. In September of last year he proposed the American Jobs Act bill, which was successfully filibustered by the Republican Congress. The bill would have put almost two million more Americans to work.
Americans' biggest jobs problem, besides the Republican Congress, is that our workers are not being taught new skills to stay ahead. Even workers skilled in technology or science are finding it hard to get jobs. And when they do, there is very little importance placed on research and development from the government to the private sector.
Luckily for me, not only do I have a job, but I get paid to do what I would otherwise do for free. How cool is that? But when my brothers are hungry, my stomach growls too. So I decided to come up with my own version of the American Jobs Act, code name: Bitch, You Better Not Send One More Job Overseas.
WILLIE D’S PLAN
The Cost of Living
The cost of living in America is so high that companies can get away with paying workers in poor countries much less. I propose that we lower the cost of living across the board on everything from milk to automobiles. Did you know you can get a nicely furnished apartment for three hundred dollars in Bolivia?
It’s time that all of the companies jumping out of their drawers to set up shop in other countries finally pay up. No more tax breaks to pay for company jets and fat bonuses. A seventy percent tax on American-based companies that outsource labor should do the trick. If we hit them in their pocket books, I bet you they will haul ass back to the US so fast that their private planes would still be in the air when they landed.
The government should forgive all student loans. The students took out loans because they were told a job would be available to them if they educated themselves. But after graduation, many couldn’t find jobs to pay back the loans. Fair is fair.
Train and retrain students starting at the age of ten with advanced skills that they can use in the current and future job market. To compete with European and Asian countries, the US needs to make sure our students learn skills like collaboration and leadership while still maintaining their curiosity and imagination.
Be your own boss. That way nobody can fire you and you can quit whenever you want. If you can’t handle the stress, I understand. But to me it’s far better to deal with running your own business than to wake up everyday and not know whether or not you will have a job at the end of the day.
Yeah, I know this shit sounds wild, but I guarantee you if we stood together and slapped these politicians and CEOs around a little and implemented my plans we could really change things. But I don’t expect everyone to cross the line. Most people would rather bend over and take it raw than inconvenience themselves.
Previously - My Healthcare Reform Plan
Willie D is a member of the legendary rap group the Geto Boys.
Follow him on Twitter: @WillieDLIVE
Weediquette: The Cannabis Republic of Uruguay - Part 1
London Is Turning into a Depressing and Dumb Stock Image City
Here Be Dragons: Sorry, Everyone, Making Fuel Out of Seawater Isn't Gonna Save Humanity
Seven Important Truths About How the World Takes Drugs in 2014
Our E-Cigarettes Are Going to Melt Our Faces and Burn Our Houses Down
Owning Porno Used to Mean Something, Damnit
Photos of the Bathrooms and Kitchens of America's Bachelors
Stop Panicking About Getting Older, You Pricks
How Airbnb Makes Tax Day So Much Worse
Advice for the Twitter Professional at US Airways Who Tweeted Hardcore Porn