Good afternoon, fuckfaces. I stole some more Twitter shits for you. I know you're probably thinking, "Sweet post, asshole, why not try actually writing something instead of just milking everyone else's wisdom?" It ain't that easy though. I have to hand-deliver a contract or some bullshit paper thing to each one of these dicks and get them to sign it before I post their brainfarts. And pay 'em each a tenner, too. I did this once before and thought it went over well enough, but if you would rather have something else just say so, because I love ignoring your demands.
Here are some of the best things on Twitter from the past couple of weeks. You're probably thinking, "The best? Then where's @kellyoxford and @thesulk and @robdelaney?" Ah ha ha ha. Oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea you were still that lost in the Twitter game and that you still ate at the jocks' table. Come out back with me to the smoking section. Acne Timmy's got a dipped joint and we're about to get high as shit. Enjoy.