"I LiKE GiRLS WiTH SHORT HAiR & START FiRES iN BURGER KiNG BATHROOMS" -Riff Raff
You might be a fan of his braids, his freestyle youtube vids, or you might be one in the legions of the thoroughly entertained who follow Riff Raff on Twitter (@RiFFRaFF_SODMG). His timeline is some pure brilliance to help set your sad and dead world straight. Riff Raff is the self-proclaimed "rap game Golden Child," the "rap game Primadonna," and the rap game's only Jodie Foster that I've ever heard of. Dude is nuts, but he might be wise, and he is most definitely the only white dude with braids who is actually cool. From a brief stint on some MTV programming, he's since been signed by Soulja Boy to the Stacks On Deck Money Gang and is working on an album with Diplo, I think. I didn't know much more about him except that he hangs out with Andy Milonakis and Dirt Nasty, and he uses the word "rice" like you use the word "the" or "or." One thing I do know is that this dude has some hardcore fans who are going to follow him whether he goes to the bottom or the top. I asked Riff Raff a few questions.
VICE: Hey man. I first saw you on that MTV show From G's to Gents (a reality show that collected a bunch of G's and tried to teach them manners and gentlemanly ways) and, though you were eliminated kind of early, I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again. Was doing that show just a PR move for you, since you were obviously levels above any of those other dudes?
Riff Raff: MTV OWES ME MY OWN SHOW AND 1.7 MiLLiON DOLLARS... AND A LAMBORGHiNi AiRPLANE .... UNTiL THEY PAY ME iN GOLD AND DiAMONDS i SHALL NOT PROMOTE THEiR NAME.
Your tweets are fucking brilliant, man. You seem like one of the only rappers who actually thinks about shit before they tweet it. What's your secret?
THE SECRET iS i HAVE THiS COOL COMPUTER THAT SAYS COOL SHYT ... iTS CALLED A BRAiN, i HAVE ONE OF THE TOP 1% CEREBELLUMS iN THE LEAGUE .... WHiCH GiVES ME A SLiGHT ADVANTAGE OVER THE AVERAGE HAS-BEENS AND HUMAN PROXiMETERS.
I don't even fucking know what "bringing out the rice" actually means, but I say it to my coke dealer and he seems to understand. Give me a brief history of RICE.
PG VERSiON = TO GiVE FORTH AND DiSPLAY ALL EFFORT TO MAKE YOUR POTENTiAL iNTO A REALiTY AND EXPRESS GREAT FLASHY FORTUNES WiTH ARROGANCE AND FLARE...
MiAMi ViCE VERSiON = BRiNG OUT THAT GOOD SHYT SO THAT i CANT BLACK OUT ON THESE HATERS.
What's up with your eyes? Your pupils always look huge like you're always on acid or something. It's a fresh look though.
iM UNDER CONTRACT NOT TO SPEAK OF MY EYES .... UNLESS BEiNG iNTERViEWED BY A FEMALE COMPONENT
So Soulja Boy signed you. How'd that happen?
HE GAVE ME AN OFFER THAT i COULDNT REFUSE... WE MET UP iN TAMPA BAY FLORiDA iN AN UNDiSCLOSED AREA, EXCHANGED SiGNATURES AND MONEYS AND THEN STAYED UP FOR 47 HOURS iN CELEBRATiON.
I hear you got a special announcement to make. Want to do it here? Don't hold back, now. Tell us everything.
iM NOT GUNNA SAY TOO MUCH BUT ... WE HAVE AN ALBUM AND A WORLD WiDE TOUR THAT WiLL BE TAKiNG PLACE EARLY iN THE 2012 YEAR .... ALOT OF ALCOHOL, ALOT OF MONEYS EXCHANGED .... AND POSSiBLY A KiDNEY TRANSPLANT SOMETiME iN THE EARLY MARCH REGiONS.
All right. Sounds good.
You all see what I mean? Keep your eyes on this dude.