Girl Eats Food - Doughnut Upside-Down Cake

Anyone who saw my recipe for deep-fried Mexican cake a couple of weeks ago shouldn't be surprised when I say that I used to be a bit chubby. My early teens were spent eating Chicken Cottage on the sofa and nobody ever wanted to grope me in a park.

by Joanna Fuertes Knight

July 18, 2011, 12:00am

Anyone who saw my recipe for deep-fried Mexican cake a couple of weeks ago shouldn’t be surprised when I say that I used to be a bit chubby. My early teens were spent eating Chicken Cottage on the sofa and nobody ever wanted to grope me in a park.

Thank God that all changed. I discovered chewable multivitamins and concentrated on sustained amphetamine abuse. Even though stuffing my face took a back seat as I cultivated my liberal arts college eating disorder, I’ve never totally abandoned my past. In fact, the old me lives on, gorging happily within this recipe.

Doughnut Upside-Down Cake

It’s basically that cake with pineapples, but with more fried shit. the doughnut upside-down cake follows the basic rules of an upside-down pudding, but instead of using all those dirty fruit tumours that grow in mud, you’re using yummy factory produced deep fried rings of dough.

It’s not that I have a problem with fruit per se, it’s just that it’s unreliable. I can’t see why anyone would choose to eat a satsuma when nine times out of ten it’s going to taste like a balloon full of trash can juice. In contrast, thanks to E numbers, MSG, and whatever other kind of diamorphine chem-trail shit they put in chocolate, you can eat three kilos of M&Ms happy in the knowledge each one will taste exactly as delicious as the last.

Ingredients

1 - dollop of butter
1 - cup of packed brown sugar
1 - tablespoon of cinnamon
1 - pack of those mini doughnuts that always go stale and get left in the reduced section of Tesco
1 - egg
1 - cup of granulated sugar
1, 1/3 - cups of flour
1, 1/2 - teaspoons of baking powder
1/2 - teaspoon of salt
1/3 - cup of milk
1/3 - cup of double cream
Some more butter, like just under half a cup
Some chocolate drops

Step 1.

Dump a sizeable dollop of melty butter into an ovenproof dish. You're not trying to deep fry your head, so don't put too much in. You just want a mild butter slurry. Now, sprinkle the brown sugar and cinnamon in the bottom so your doughnuts have a nice blanket of sludge to sit on.

Step 2.

Line your doughnuts on top of this sticky mess. I’m using the skankiest doughnuts I could find because my budget makes Greece look like Vegas, but there’s nothing stopping you from getting buckwild and trying it with Krispy Kremes.

Step 3.

Dump the rest of the ingredients in a bowl and whisk. I guess you could just use milk, but the doughnuts kinda explode out the top and look like cystic acne if you use double cream. And cystic acne's pretty much what you're going for.

Step 4.

I added some chocolate drops too, because why the fuck not? Each one of them is like a little rabbit dropping from Jesus' own golden warren and I don't know how to cook without them.

Step 5.

Now pour the batter over your field of swollen assholes.

Step 6.

Cook on 180c for 45 minutes or until golden brown. Basically just cook it till it's cooked. You're not a moron right, you can tell when something's cooked? When something's cooked, it looks like this:

At least, that's what doughnut upside-down cake looks like when it's cooked.

Step 7.

Slice up, dust with a little icing sugar, and it’s practically tea at the Ritz. Tea at the Ritz in your filthy house that stinks of unemployment still counts as tea at the Ritz.