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Music

Grimewatch

Are the majors about to consign grime to the shit heap? Gemma Fox and Polydor just "parted company" and Wiley's just walked out on the deal with XL.

Photo of ‘Boys Love Girls'-era N.A.S.T.Y Crew by Jamie-James Medina

Photo of Crazy Titch by Jamie-James Medina

Are the majors about to consign grime to the shit heap? Gemma Fox and Polydor just "parted company" (but they did just pick up Doogz—hold tight for the album out next year) and Wiley's just walked out on the deal with XL. He told me he was pissed at them ‘cos he thinks they're putting more time and effort into Dizzee, who apparently used to go to stage school with sworn enemy Asher D? WTF?!? This was probably the cause of all the handbag throwing on Tim "I've only just found out about grime" Westwood's show, and we doubt XL are best pleased with shifting less than 20,000 copies of his album. We don't know who's to blame, but releasing "Pies" as a single? When the album is choc full of guaranteed hits like "The Next Level"? Someone needs to get fired. And what's up with Kano? And when did he become "intelligent grime" His latest press release doesn't even mention N.A.S.T.Y Crew once and his soft single "Ps & Qs" is far from his best work. Worse, there are no immediate plans to release the N.A.S.T.Y classic "Boys Love Girls". Hellloooo? That tune would shit all over the Top 40 before you could say "east London's answer to Nelly." What is it with the majors? Why are they so scared of releasing anything that's actually any good? So what if 500 people in E3 already have the track on white, what, does that mean Radio 1 or CD:UK won't still rock that shit? What gives? Meanwhile back on road, Crazy Titch has been living up to his name by trying to take on an entire under-18s Cosa Nostra rave at Hackney Ocean. We phoned up the venue on the day of the rave, thinking we'd get in there and film it but the management wouldn't have any of it. Funny that, because back in January they gave us carte blanche to film anything we wanted for the upcoming VICE TV series. Anyway, the rumour is that a lot of Hackney boys who hate Titch all turned up and started throwing ice cubes at thim. Depending on who you believe, Titch dived off the stage and tried to merk everyone in the room. Luckily there were only 15 people at the whole rave so it wasn't too bad. Plus, Titch just threw down an incredible diss track towards Dizzee over "Lean Back". The only thing better we heard recently is Lady Fury's diss at Titch called "Tools So Small". Speaking of Fury, did anyone see her and Sovereign support Basement Jaxx? The ill-informed crowd of media filth had no idea what was going on. A bit like when The Streets supported the Jaxx three years ago. Now they're all on his nutsack. You do the math. Talking of Mike Skinner, if he continues to spend all his money on yachts in Cannes like he's trying to at the moment and comes home broke, someone should give him a job as an A&R man. Once again he's brought in all the hot artists on the "Get Out Of My House" remix (679), this time Demon, Kano, D Dubs and Bruza get exposed. Speaking of Bruza, he just shot his own vid for "Get Me" in a Stratford car park. I was there an it's got topless girls in it and EVERYTHING. Radiowise, all the pirates are continuing to kick grime off the dial. Only Rawblaze and Ontop seem to be repping, but any station manager will tell you all the real thugs are listening to funky house now anyway. So with no mics to smash up live on air anymore, east London has been doing its best impression of Bollywood, and everyone is chucking out a DVD. Wiley is looking for an acting coach, while the scene's answer to Steven Spielberg and George Lucas—Capo & Ratty—continue to shot hundreds of copies of Lord Of The Mics. So, watch out for DVDs from 1. Fire Camp—because Fumin is the only MC that Dizzee is listening to right now. Also, look out for the Aftershock camp's first DVD. Their main kid Terror Danjah is so fucking hot right now—his new tune with Shola Ama is on point—that ex-All Saints singer Shaznay Lewis just got him on her new single. He's also landed a show on 1Xtra. But why the fuck isn't the Shola-collaboration "So Sure" getting released? We heard it's a management issue, but it sucks for two reasons: 1. It's one of the best tunes of the year, even though it has a girl in it, and 2. Terror Danjah is the nicest guy in grime. Also look out for DVDs from Demon, the Street Talking crew, Roll Deep and pretty much everyone else with a phone that shoots video footage. That includes Mentally Ill Crew (see Page 68) and Younger N.A.S.T.Y. Some of their MCs are shorter than 5ft tall but they can still beat up Matt Mason from Rwd Magazine and he's 7ft 2. Top Four Reasons Why People Talk Shit About This Column
1. We ‘patronise' the Grime scene.

2. We're part of the ‘bullshit media circus blah de blah yawn'.

3. We once called Grime ‘the new black Oi!' and that's racist.

4. We ‘twist things beyond recognition'.