Hey Ron! – It Rage
I’ve been working next to the IT guys for about four years. There are two of them. I won’t mention names, but they can be quite loud. There are times when a certain person is on the phone with someone he works with, and for the longest time I thought it was just his wife nagging him at work because they fight and argue like they’re married. He’s constantly cursing and yelling and hanging up and throwing his phone and threatening. It’s gotten to the point where I’m like, “Yo, y’all need to meet in person and go into the conference room, you need to go outside.”
I’m friendly with this guy, and I like him a lot, but he must have broken at least three phones already. The funny thing is that the guy on the other end of the line is 250 pounds and three feet taller than the guy who works in the office. But that makes him sound kind of scary. He’s not. He’s more like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. The guy at the office is like Kato from the Green Hornet, and I just think that the Green Hornet would beat the hell out of the Pillsbury Dough Boy if it ever came down to it. His rage would allow him to kill, no question about that. The Pillsbury Dough Boy should be afraid of the guy who works here jumping on his back and beating him badly.
Every few weeks they’ll try to make up, and Dough Boy will come to the office and be like “Hey, let’s get lunch. It’s on me.” Ten minutes later, before the food is completely digested and out of their systems, they’re back at it. I just look at them like, “really?” So when he comes here I’m like, “Why are you here? All you’re going to do is start arguing, dude. You’re worse than a nagging wife. You tell him you want him to take care of things but you keep putting your foot in it. Keep your foot out, because you don’t know what you’re doing.” When they come together it’s like two suns colliding. It’s not good.
Sometimes it’s too funny. Sometimes he’ll say things like “You fucking want a piece of me? You want some? You want me to take care of business or do you want to take care of business? Are you going to do it your way or my way? Because your way probably doesn’t fucking work. So let me do my job.” And then you can hear him go, “Alright, so shut the fuck up.” Click.
Previously on Hey Ron!