Hey Ron! - I Want to Move to California With a Man Named After Toaster Pastries

Welcome true believers and newcomers alike. Once again we find our hero Ron, better known around the Vice offices as the accounts receivable manager, using his super-powers of ironclad reasoning and supernatural deduction to solve an unfathomable mystery submitted by one of his dear readers. In this week’s adventure Ron addresses a troubled young person who wishes to flee the halls of higher education for a freewheelin’ life in California. Tallyho!Hey Ron! I want to drop out of college after this year and move to California with my dude Poptart. I have little work experience, but I believe I have the intelligence, ideas, and all that other bullshit people say "young folks" need to succeed in today's capitalist clusterfuck of a country. Tell me, should I jump on the opportunity? Indiana blows, and no one understands me here. First let me start by addressing this “Poptart” fellow. I like Pop-Tarts, but I don’t know if I ever want to date one. Moving on: Going to California without any job skills is the biggest mistake you can possibly make. All you’re doing is carrying your luggage with you. And with no education it could be your bags or somebody else’s bags. Maybe a shopping bag or somebody’s luggage; you’re still just carrying stuff. I will say it again, because you seem uneducated and uneducated people like it when you repeat things: You not going to find yourself a job in LA with no skills. All that stuff about being intelligent and hardworking? Nobody cares. There are probably a couple million people out there just like that waiting for the opportunity to get a job they probably won't get. There are people with master’s degrees making hotdogs and selling Chicken McNuggets right now, so unless Poptart is making all the money, you should just keep your behind right there and continue your education. Now, after that last paragraph you might say, “Ron, you just told me to stay in school but then you said people with higher-level degrees are flipping burgers. What gives?” I’ll tell you what gives: The degree might not do you good now, but who knows what the future holds in two or three years. It’s always good to have that paper. There are lots of things people can take away from you. They can take your job, your car, your house, but they can’t take away your education. That is very important. Love, Ron Send your dilemmas for Ron here, and stave off your all-consuming hunger for his columns by checking out his Twitter.