Hey Ron! – “Kenny Powers Sucks”
When the first advance copies of The Larfs Issue arrived at Vice HQ, our man Ron was perplexed. “Who is that fatso on the cover?” he asked inquisitively. Turns out Mr. Hemphill has never seen a single second of Eastbound and Down. So we forced him to watch the latest episode. Here’s his “review.”
I think the character of Kenny powers is just a step above trailer-park trash. Meaning he was once trailer-park, then moved to the projects, and now he’s in between the trailer park and the projects. So he’s in a bad neighborhood, but he’s got a nice house. He never really moved past the hood mentally.
I would never watch this show, because I think it’s dumb humor. The skit is basically him cursing people out and treating them like dirt. There are also a couple titties. At the end of the day, I could pretty much predict the show before I watch it and that doesn’t make for good writing. I don’t know who writes this crap, but they must’ve just graduated high school with a GED because it ain’t workin’.
From what I saw, he’s a rude, arrogant fat guy who thinks he’s ’98 John Rocker, when he’s more of a 2001 John Rocker. Meaning, at one time he was good and now he’s not. He’s emulating somebody who sucks right now. If you’re going to emulate someone, at least choose someone who’s in his or her prime, not somebody who’s crashed and burned. He still has the skid marks from the burns, so you can tell he’s not going anywhere.
Honestly I couldn’t even get through the whole episode. I tried, and then I went to the bathroom and cleaned my teeth instead. I talked to a couple of people about it, and some of them said it was OK but then again, the people I asked have no lives. I asked a girl I work with and she said she liked it. So I said, “Really? Your man must not entertain you properly because this show is trash.”
People watch this show because they want to see him make a fool out of himself. That’s all he does. I can come to work and watch people do that all day, so why would I watch this? I don’t have to actually waste my time or saliva talking about it or watching the show.
The funniest show I used to watch was probably Married With Children. I didn’t get too much of the daughter; that was dumb humor. I can’t get into dumb humor. Like when they asked her certain questions she was just like, “Durhhhhh….” Nobody can be that dumb. Well, I’m sure there are people that dumb, but they’re considered retarded or slow—not stupid.
Another person I like is Eddie Murphy, but only the older stuff. Once he had kids it was all over. Actually, come to think of it, the turning point was when he started messing with transvestites. Once he got it in the butt with the turkey—up the hot chocolate or the Hershey highway or whatever it’s called—he lost me.
In conclusion, if I had to rate Eastbound and Down like they do on movie posters, my take would be: “Negative five stars. Please don’t watch. Please don’t watch, really.”