We all say things we later regret, but those things don't typically lead to the messy end of a 35-year marriage. Today's query comes from a concerned son whose parents are splitting up after his father followed his wife's advice and slept with another woman. Unsurprisingly, our man Ron shines the light of reason on this most delicate case of adultery.
My parents have been married for 35 years and are currently in the middle of a long and drawn-out divorce. It all started when my mom told my dad she didn't want to be intimate with him anymore, but that she would stay married to him and he should find someone else to have sex with. He did, and when she found out he slept with a 27-year-old she flipped out and doesn't want to be with him anymore. What should my dad do?
A lot of women say things when they're angry that they don't mean. They'll say they're mad at you and tell you to leave, but when you start to walk out the door they ask where you're going. If I tell a woman to leave, I mean she should have left yesterday.
In this case, your mother just didn't want to have sex with your father, but he was still hungry. I'm not sure if taking her honey pot away was meant to keep him around or split them up, but it doesn't make sense to get angry when your man follows the instructions you gave him. Maybe he should have gotten it in writing. He just wanted to relieve himself. I would say he should've just gotten a magazine, but I don't know if that would've saved his marriage either, because it sounds like your mom didn't want to be with him.
I think he should've moved out. Once he told her he had sex with some 27-year-old, he should've given her some space to reflect on what she had told him to do. She never had time to heal, so she just got angrier. I'm surprised she didn't go Bobbit on him and throw his penis in the bushes.
But I'm sort of playing the devil's advocate here, because your dad should have known if he followed through with it, he'd get in trouble. But he was a man in need, and his wife was not fulfilling her obligations. A man in need is a man indeed, and indeed he wanted to have sex with his wife! But because she didn't want to spread like a rooster, he went some place else to cock-a-doodle-do-it.
Previously - Occupy This