Hey Ron! - Ronageddon Is Near
Ron is everyone's brother, but that doesn't mean he won't fight you. Photo illustration by Mickey Cuthbertson
In the Bible it says that no one is ever going to seize Cairo. It’s God's chosen land, and it will continue to be until the end of days. Everybody's trying to gain control and I think the protests are God’s way of saying, "No one's going to take it. The day that somebody gets it is the day that the Earth will be over."
The Bible clearly states that we will experience massive wars before the end of the world—it'll be brother against brother, nation against nation. It makes sense that it would start in Egypt, and if you want to know my thoughts I believe our days are numbered, literally. I can't tell you exactly how long we have, but it will happen in my lifetime I think.
Again, if you go by the Bible, it says that people who believe in Him will be taken and saved, and the rest will stay. Then the stragglers will have to go through purgatory. Next the disbelievers will think they're getting this great new Messiah who will appear to come and unite everyone who's left on earth, but basically it will be the devil in disguise. Then God is going to come back and clean house in a huge way, but that's only because he wants his people to be able to come back. This is his planet; he owns everything on it.
I think this thing in Cairo has gotten so deep and misconstrued that you've literally got brothers fighting against brothers—sort of like when the North and South were fighting during the Civil War. There were cousins fighting cousins, and you know, for what?
If somehow I found myself in the middle of all that crap, you best believe I'm finding a way out. There is no "can't." I'm coming home. And what's more I'm coming home with bloody knuckles. I'm punching my way home. I'd be punching camels. I'm getting out of there, dude. Believe me. I've lived in New York all my life and I'm going to get beat up by people from Cairo? Are you crazy? I'm from the projects. People from the hood survive. I'm sure there's some kids who are carrying AK-47s but I don’t know about their knuckle game. They can probably shoot, but if I’m at arm’s reach you’re going to catch this right.
I've dealt with big fights before. School riots are the best—I'm not bragging, but they are the best type of fight because you can just punch whoever's around. You just hope that it’s no one you know. You’re just punching and swinging at who’s swinging at you. (I remember when I was younger there was this one girl who would swing hard in those fights. Everyone thought she was a superhero.)
There were also gang fights, but back then they had some rules and no one really had guns. We had bats, sticks, knives, and things of that nature. There are no rules in Cairo. It's either kill or be killed. It’s a dictatorship, period. It’s Napoleon rule, dude. Whoever rules, rules. That’s it.
There are other things that make me think the end times are near. They keep trying to blame all the weird weather and natural disasters on global warming or whatever, but something bigger is going on. You can keep your head in the sand, but you’re just going to choke and it’s not like it’s going to stop it from happening. It’s the same thing with these wars. There’s nothing Obama or anybody else can do. It’s inevitable. It’s going to happen because it’s been talked about for 4,000 years. It’s coming.
Previously on Hey Ron!
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