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Money

This Straight Guy Almost Sucked a Dick to Support His Financial Domination Addiction

'I soon got to the stage where I was constantly broke despite working a full-time job. This actually added to the buzz that I got from fin dom. It made me feel even more humiliated, which made me hornier than ever.'
Illustration by Tyler Boss

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The internet is a space where every strange sexual fetish is catered to—whether it's laying fake alien eggs in your vagina or being stuck partway up a unicorn's ass. Most of these fetishes involve genitalia or some nudity. Financial domination, on the other hand, sits outside the bounds of even the strangest sexual practices made possible on the web.

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In fin-dom, "money slaves" happily hand over cash to dominatrixes who ridicule them for being spendthrift idiots. It can also be highly addictive. Some people spend thousands of dollars a week engaging in this form of BDSM. Gordon is one of those poor schmucks. At one stage, his desire to be financially dominated almost ruined every aspect of his life—from his finances to his personal relationships. This is his sad story, in his own words. —Nick Chester

It all started with web cam shows. The first time I paid for one, it was out of boredom. I had some spare time while my girlfriend Rachel was away, and thought I'd treat myself to an expensive wanking session. I never intended for it to lead to me becoming a "pay pig," as those who succumb to financial domination addiction are known; it just sort of happened.

Strangely, I discovered that I was turned on by the idea of paying a beautiful, young girl money more than I was by the flesh on display. I liked the idea that she almost certainly viewed me with contempt but was happy to take my cash. There was something tantalizingly humiliating about it, and I found myself paying for cam shows whenever I had the house to myself.

At this point, I was only spending, at most, about $50 a week. I could easily afford my fetish. But that all changed when I discovered a cam girl who advertised "financial domination" on her profile. I googled it to find out what it was and came across page after page of stunning women who got off on mocking men for paying them money. They didn't even get naked or do anything sexual. You might be surprised to learn that this turned me on even more.

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I saw them as sadistic princesses who enjoyed exploiting sexual deviants like myself to feed their wallets. I was instantly hooked. The rush that I got from it was a bit like sadomasochism, only instead of the sub enjoying physical pain, I enjoyed the mental pain of being taken for a fool and having my bank account drained. The minute each session had finished, I furiously jerked myself into oblivion and had really intense orgasms that were a thousand times stronger than the ones I had when I had sex with Rachel.

The difference between conventional web cam girls and fin doms is that the former gently encourage you to part with more money, and the latter put as much pressure as possible on you to keep spending. They really are merciless, and a lot of them don't care at all about the impact that their greed has on your life. I quickly went from spending $10 here and there to blowing up to $500 in a single session. The more I gave the doms, the more they wanted. Things were rapidly spiraling out of control, but I lacked the willpower to stop. Financial domination was no longer a harmless fetish. It had now become a powerful, all-consuming addiction.

I soon got to the stage where I was constantly broke despite working a full-time job. This actually added to the buzz that I got from fin dom. It made me feel even more humiliated, which made me hornier than ever. The problem was that it isn't possible to satiate a greedy goddess's thirst for cash forever. When I would reach the point where I had no more cash left to spend, I would steal jewelry from Rachel to give to the doms instead. I never told them it was stolen. I always claimed that I had bought it especially for them. They would tell me that they preferred cash, but grudgingly accepted it.

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I also started shoplifting food and essential items so that I had more spare cash to spend on being a money slave. I had never broken the law before becoming hooked, but found stealing from shops to be relatively easy. Sometimes, I would feel guilty afterwards and promise myself that it'd be the last theft I ever did it. I'd convince myself that I was going to stop the financial domination for good. But I was kidding myself, because I knew deep down that I would soon be doing the exact same thing again.

The thought of having another man perform a sex act on me disgusted me, but the idea of telling a fin dom about it and having her laugh at me gave me a major boner.

My friends were also the victims of my newfound kleptomania. Anybody foolish enough to allow me into their house would have their jewelry stolen. I was careful to only ever take one or two items and usually went for small things that they would assume they had lost. The buzz from giving the goddesses non-cash gifts wasn't as strong as the rush from giving them money but was better than nothing. I also got off on the lengths that they were forcing me to go to in order to please them. I would run through scenarios in my head where I told them how much I was struggling to make them happy, and they giggled and told me what an imbecile I was.

I actually considered selling my body at one point. I was browsing through Craigslist and saw an ad by a gay guy saying that he would pay money to give a straight man a blowjob. I liked the idea of having to suffer the ultimate degrading act to get enough money to pay my goddess. Part of me was horrified, but another part was turned on. The thought of having another man perform a sex act on me disgusted me, but the idea of telling a fin dom about it and having her laugh at me gave me a major boner.

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I never actually ended up replying to the Craigslist ad, thank God. I figured the gay guy would probably wonder what a straight guy with a good job was doing letting men suck him off for fifty bucks. It would be a very awkward situation, and my natural shyness prevented me from going through with it. The fact that I even considered it now makes me sick. It hammers home the extremity of my addiction.

Rachel eventually realized that her belongings were going missing and confronted me. She had noticed that I wasn't sleeping well and that I'd started to look ill, and thought I was on drugs. In reality, I didn't sleep on the days that I couldn't afford to be a cash cow for the doms. My mind would race at a million miles per hour, and I'd stay awake thinking of ways to make money. I told her that there was nothing to worry about, but she wasn't convinced. She was angry that I had taken her things and demanded answers. I wanted to tell her about the bizarre, life-ruining addiction that I was in the grip of, and that I desperately needed help, but was worried that she'd leave me, so I lied and said I was on drugs. She would never have believed me if I said nothing was wrong, and I figured she'd be more sympathetic to a relatively normal problem than a seedy sexual one.

Rachel cried and hugged me, telling me that we would get through this. I was surprised at how supportive she was, and it made me feel even guiltier for lying to her. "It's OK," she told me. "We can beat this together."

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After that, I stopped stealing her things and cut down on my spending in an effort to convince her that I was kicking my nonexistent drug habit. Luckily, Rachel is from quite a good background and knows very little about drugs, so keeping up the charade was pretty easy. I told her I was gradually weaning myself off heroin, and adjusted my fin dom habits accordingly. Luckily, I managed to get things back to a manageable level and saved our relationship.

Rachel is still blissfully unaware that I was ever wasting our money on financial domination. After pretending to have come off drugs, she assumed that things were back to normal. She is occasionally suspicious and asks me if I'm still doing anything that I shouldn't be, but I assure her that I'm not. It feels bad lying to her, but I need to lie to cover up the past lies that I've told her. It makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to reveal the honest truth.

I still spend at least $100 a week on fin doms, but it no longer controls every aspect of my life. Do I think the doms are responsible for my situation? Not really. They mostly don't tend to be the nicest of people, but if they did, no one would give them money, so I guess that comes with the territory. They're earning an honest living and aren't doing anything illegal, so you can't lay the blame on them.

I think the stigma that's placed on sexual addictions is the main culprit. If I hadn't been so embarrassed about being a money slave, I would have sought help. As it stands, I'm still battling my addiction today. I'm sure there are thousands of people out there with similarly strange addictions. Being addicted to anything sucks, but being addicted to something as pointless as financial domination is definitely a step down from your regular, run-of-the-mill addiction. The only solution is for me to gain the strength to drag myself back up into normality—a place where I no longer have to feel ashamed.

As told to Nick Chester