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Music

I Spent Passover with Nicki Minaj

Sasha Hecht, girl reporter, spent Passover with Nicki Minaj.

VICE Music Editor and butthole enthusiast Kelly McClure likes to put me in uncomfortable situations. She thinks it’s fucking hilarious. The last time Kelly threw me into the “Danger Zone,” I found myself in a third rate Bushwick strip club with an aspiring gangsta rapper who happened to be tripping balls. I don’t know what it is about me that makes people love to watch me squirm, but maybe it has to do with my “mild selective agoraphobia” (sometimes referred to as “brattiness”). So when VICE got word that Nicki Minaj would be the secret performer at Nokia’s Lumia 900 publicity stunt in Times Square last Friday, McClure jumped at the opportunity to send me into the Heart of Darkness. Hey, at least it got me out of Passover with my family. Mazel tov, me!

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I arrived at the W Hotel Times Square early Friday afternoon for an interview with Doorly, the UK DJ/producer given the task of remixing Minaj’s track “Starships” for the spectacle to be unveiled that evening. As we chatted and sheepishly fiddled with our iPhones in front of a NOKIA-smattered backdrop, I was genuinely surprised that—contrary to my supported thesis that every DJ is the worst person in the entire world—Doorly is actually a cool guy. We sat down for a few questions before the room flooded with frantic publicists and event organizers who probably would have given their rolodexes for the two whole hours of sleep I got the night before.

VICE: How did this collaboration come to be? Who contacted whom?

Doorly: They just called me and said “Would you like to remix Nicki Minaj?” and I immediately said “Yeah!” I’m such a big fan. It was just a normal remix to start with and then they told me about [the stunt] and it’s just become this monster live performance thing now.

So you had the remix down before you heard about the performance?

Well, I kind of started it. There’s a lot of backwards and forwards. Usually, you just do a remix and then you send it, but with this, there’s dancers doing routines to it, there’s visuals, and then—obviously—there’s Nicki’s part in it, so it came backwards and forwards so many times that I think I started it about five times.

Was there a lot of added pressure knowing that this was going to be turned into such a huge spectacle?

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Yeah, definitely. We’re in the middle of Times Square!

Good point. You’re often touted as being the “genreless DJ.” Who would you say are some artists who have shaped your sound?

Fatboy Slim was the reason I started DJing—his open-mindedness to music and his party spirit. Pretty much entirely Fatboy Slim, really. I love hip-hop and I like turntables, so I watched a lot of DMC videos. But the spirit of DJing was all about Fatboy Slim for me.

Is there any particular scene that you feel the most comfortable in or has received you with the most enthusiasm?

I seem to fit into a lot of different scenes because I’ve been on so many different lineups, whether it’s as a producer or a DJ. I suppose, in America, my first big rise was when I started making dubstep, because that was quite early for America and I was one of the first people coming over here doing it. But I think everyone knows by now to just expect a mixture of everything.

Especially now that EDM has become such a huge component of the mainstream in the States. Being a UK dubstep producer—obviously there’s a lot of back-and-forth about what is and isn’t “real dubstep”—what’s your take on that rivalry?

Oh god. At some point you’ll probably ask me about Skrillex. [Laughs] It’s definitely a more aggressive sound here, but I think it’s a totally different market. Kids here just want to go nuts. UK people are too cool for their own good. As soon as something becomes popular, they turn against it. They just want to have their heads down and listen to something no one’s heard before, otherwise it’s “cheesy,” whereas in America, that’s what they want. If I play that kind of music to these crowd, that’s not going to work. It’s a different sound for a different marketplace. If you went to Germany and played a Skrillex record, it would go down really badly, but if you played minimal techno in a club in New York, people would look at like you like you were mental.

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I know that you have this philosophy that a live show should really be about the spectacle. You use four CDJs, two mixers…Where does that all stem from?—That need to “perform”?

I’ve always been a “live” performance DJ. It’s always been about turntables for me. It’s not enough with two CDJs. I can’t do it; I get bored. So I added a third and then a fourth and now I’ve started bringing effects units with me. I’ve got, like, two effects units and some samplers to get what’s in my head out into the set. I feel like a DJ should be doing more than just pressing play on a laptop or mixing two songs together.

Is there any new technology that you’ve identified or that you’re looking into to add to your live performances?

Well, I’ve actually worked with Pioneer to design a new remix box called RMX1000—that’s being released in May. I’ve been all about being able to remix live, and this little box allows you to create your own breakdowns and build-ups. It has a little drum machine in it so you can play your own samples and trigger stuff. It basically gives me what I get from all of these effects machines and samplers in one little unit.

Obviously, we have to touch on the Lumia 900, which is being marketed as being über-conducive to social media navigation. How do you identify social media as being a driving factor in either the way you make your make music or the way you interact with your fans?

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The way social media has affected the music community is amazing. There are so many people in the music world I’ve built up relationships with on Twitter and then we’ll collaborate on stuff. I’ve made so many tracks with people and become friends with artists and other DJs just because we have good banter on Twitter and social networks and when we meet, we’re friends already. It’s just a really good way to stay in touch with your fans because you can’t possibly go out and say thank you to every kid at the end of the night, but with Twitter, you can.

You have this remix box coming out, but do you have any other EPs on the way? Mixtapes?

Yeah, I’m actually doing loads of collabs right now. I’ve got one with Grandmaster Flash, Jakes Shears from the Scissor Sisters, Beardyman. I’m just finishing a track with the Jungle Brothers at the moment. I’ve got an EP coming out in mid-May on my label. I’ve just started doing a monthly Rinsd show on Rinsd.fm—the second Thursday of every month. I also do a residency in Ibiza at Ibiza Rocks, and that starts again in June, and then a US tour.

After picking up credentials and my friendtographer Noah, we headed over to the Renaissance Hotel’s R Lounge to grab some red carpet coverage. The media sheet distributed to the press included names like Aaron Carter, Joe Jonas, Alicia Keys, Cory Kennedy, and Samantha Ronson (a guest list apparently compiled by an intern scanning through the 2005-2007 archives of Perez Hilton), but after waiting around for a little over an hour with no activity, we decided to head to the open bar because duh.

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Here’s the one person we saw on the red carpet. Noah tells me he designed a Lego heart brooch that Kanye West wore once back in 2008. So.

As with any corporate entertainment event, the crowd that packed the VIP lounge was a mix of hip, pretty young things alternating between rolling their eyes and taking sips from thematically-named drinks (the “Lumia Light” or the “Monster Mayhem”) and middle-aged suits still full from their dinners at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. down the block.

Expertly executing the awkward party trick of hanging out exclusively with the host’s pet, but instead of a cat, it’s a cell phone I cannot for the life of me figure out how to work.

One hour of people-watching and scathing inner monologues later, it was time to head down to the massive blue box structure erected smack-dab in the center of Times Square, timer ticking ominously down to zero. Hey! Do you know how many people show up for a free surprise performance by an international superstar in world’s tourist hub? LOTS. OF. FUCKING. PEOPLE. I’m a born and raised New Yorker and, as such, I’ve made it my life’s mission (in addition to “become a cat when I grow up”) to stay far away from that hot box of brace-faced Juicy junkies and people who wear backpacks on their fronts. And yet there I was, in the belly of the beast, giving the evil eye to a hoard of 12-year-olds from the press pit. Fuck you too, McClure.

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I feels ya, girl.

When the countdown hit zero, the walls of the box dropped and Minaj appeared like a drag queen who just can’t find the motivation (or the quality drugs) anymore. I wish I had more to say about the performance, but I was honestly just a bit bored by that point. Nicki Minaj is known for her theatrics, but the show basically consisted of the pop star lip-syncing while dancers clad in white lab coats with “NOKIA” splashed on the back (subtle!) kicked and jumped around her. I guess you get what you pay for.

What was most shocking was the audience. The next time you elbow some neckbeard in the ribs for filming a concert on his iPhone and ruining your mopey indie moment, imagine turning around and seeing a sea—tens of thousands strong—of cell phones. Not just that, but every single body is motionless so as not to compromise the quality of the clip they will inevitably post to Facebook with the title “OMG TR!P 2 NYC!!!!” A “trending topic” catches their eye and these kids become zombie Scorsese in a training bra.

Noah and I dipped out just around the end of the final song, but not before desperately trying (in vain) to track down Aaron Carter for a drunken photo op that would serve as my email signature until the end of time.

In lieu of a photo of me with Aaron, here’s something I found on the internet.

I suppose if you’re planning a multi-million dollar publicity stunt, Times Square is a decent venue. Sorry, did I say “decent venue?” I meant “logistical nightmare oh please no dear god why.” But hundreds of thousands of people have seen the event and here I am writing about the Nokia Lumia 900 (COMING OUT IN MAY PRE-ORDER AVAILABLE NOW VIA WALMART BUY BUY BUY), so high-fives all around, I guess. Mostly, I’ll be forever haunted by the fact that the idea to do this as an “…On Acid!” piece didn’t occur to me until the morning of, but not as much as I’ll be forever haunted by the close-up mental image of Nicki Minaj’s ass. Danger zone, indeed.

Check out Nokia’s video of the spectacle below:

Photos by Noah Emrich.

@sashahecht