I Wanna Date a Majestic Girl

I discovered the Youtube channel Majestic Casual in late 2012 when my housemate's girlfriend started putting on amazing music that I'd never heard. My ego was a little hurt as I'd been djing for eight years and hosting a radio show for six months—so I assumed I knew everything that could make my heart melt. By the fourth song I didn't know but loved, I let go of my pride and asked what the hell we were listening to. She was so blasé about it, "oh, just some stuff from Majestic".

Over the past couple of years the channel Majestic has blown up, becoming an influential tastemaker with over a million subscribers, and making the careers of many bedroom producers. Its success is largely due to one of the most brilliant formats on the internet: a nice photo of a cute girl (usually from Tumblr), a logo, and hours spent crawling through Soundcloud for rad songs that blend chillwave, hip hop and deep house—all three make an ultimate track.

When I realised great artists I didn't know were being featured there, I subscribed and fell in love. Soon I began to notice that when I played a Majestic Casual song during a DJ set a certain type of girl would do a little scream and run to the front. These girls were usually the best dressed, they'd lose their mind to a remix before anyone had any idea what it was, and would happily name drop it to any puzzled faces.

I called them Majestic Girls. A Majestic Girl uses the channel to get into cool music without knowing any of the artists that led up to it, or influenced it. To be fair both genders are guilty of this, but it seems like more of a girl phenomenon as the tracks feels more catered to them. In my opinion, 2012 and 2013 were the years EDM was designed for making girls dance.

For years we had fist pumping and aggressive bangers. Now we were have artists doing bootleg remixes of old R'n'B songs to make them sound like Washed Out. The rise of R'n'B, trap, chillwave and deep house has bedroom producers trying to cover all genres in the same song. Also, maybe some guys just wanted to get girls to dance.

I wanna fall in love with a Majestic Girl. I wanna dance in the club to a Cyril Hahn remix of Destiny's Child and make eye contact with a Majestic Girl singing along and end up talking about our favourite songs and artists. I'll already know all of hers—I mean she's a Majestic Girl—it can't be that hard to work out.

The best bit about Majestic Girls is they have the good taste, just not the knowledge. I want to show them the rest: if they're loving Shlohmo, what's stopping them loving DJ Screw? If they love Giraffage, they're bound to love Salem, right? If they think Bondax is great wait till they hear George Michael—too funky!

I just wanna take a Majestic Girl by the hand, get on a magic carpet and sing a version of "A Whole New World" from Aladdin where the vocals are chopped and screwed but the beat is 90s house and there's heaps of reverb and an organ stab comes in every now and then.

I'm not trying to diss Majestic Casual and the girls who enjoy it—or come across as some kind of party svengali. I think it's a great channel, and people are lazy and keep to maybe one or two sources for music. How many douches do you know that have the same opinion as Pitchfork and end up missing good music because some dickhead gave something a 5.9?

I guess we get a bit lazy and we want music to come to us, what happened to the old days of finding music? I remember looking at 40 blogs to find a song. These days to find a track I'm sitting on five Youtube channels, two rap blogs, and looking at what other djs have favourited on Soundcloud. Does this make me much better than a majestic girl? Not at all. We're all getting lazier, Majestic Girls just look better while they do it.

Check out Chris' radio show Hood Pass on Triple R.