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      I Went to a Blowjob Bar in Bangkok, Thailand

      By Laurel Tuohy

      July 30, 2014

      Four "consultants" at Dr. BJ's Salon in Bangkok, Thailand. All photos by KT Watson

      Bangkok, Thailand, is one of the world's deepest pits of pure sin, a forbidden zone where you can get pretty much whatever sexual perversion tickles your pickle presented to you on a silver platter, with drugs and booze on the side. Countless massage parlors, brothels, and call services exist to cater to the humongous sex-tourism industry. So how does an aspiring entrepreneur, uh... stick out in such a super-saturated marketplace?

      Well, the first step is to take a cue from branding experts: Be as obvious and memorable as possible. That's the thinking behind Dr. BJ’s Salon, the most notorious suck bar in Bangkok.

      The spot is within sight of the Nana skytrain station, just up the street from the swankiest mall in the city. Walking up to Dr. BJ's, you're blasted with light from 14 identical neon signs, which make this knob-slob parlor pretty hard to ignore. Inside, it's stark white, harshly lit, and designed to resemble a medical clinic—the perfect place to get cone.

      The exterior was all it took to persuade my friend Jared (not his real name), a 27-year-old American living in Bangkok, to give professional blowjobs a try. Twice.

      “When I first got to Bangkok," he told me, "I saw the signs for Dr. BJ's Salon and thought, Wait, am I reading that right, or am I a pervert? Because it kinda looks like a medical clinic. I checked out their website when I got home and I was like, Oh my God, this is a real thing!” he said.

      I was intrigued, so I asked Jared to bring me there for a tour, and Dr. BJ was nice enough to let us take a few photos, and even gave us an interview about his business strategies.

      The owner, a Brit who prefers only to be known as “Dr. BJ,” has a background in stereo sales and a talent for marketing. Dr. BJ posits that all businesses should aim to be clear about the service they are offering, so why not the sex industry?

      “I think the name conveys what we do pretty well," he told me recently when I visited the salon. "It’s easy to remember, and the logo is easy to spot. When I got involved in the sex industry, I couldn’t understand why no one made an effort to stand out. How could they not take note of the real experts in retail? We looked at what McDonald’s and KFC did. In every location, you see Ronald and the Colonel, right? We wanted to do that too. Dr. BJ is the Ronald McDonald of the sex industry."

      Dr. BJ continued, telling me a bit about the founding of his bizarre company. "When we were planning our business, I expected Dr. BJ's to cater to tourists looking for a laugh. We were trying to create a fun place, but as it turns out, more than half of our clients are non-Thais who live in Bangkok. We have a huge Korean and Japanese following,” he added.

      Dr. BJ approaches his business with a sense of humor. On its website, the company lists locations opening soon in places like Vatican City, Kabul, and Tehran. They regularly receive email inquiries about those locations by people who don’t realize it’s a joke.

      When you walk in, there is a reception desk not unlike that at a doctor’s office and a simple menu listing prices and services. The BJ girls are separated into two skill levels: nurses and consultants. The nurses wear white and the consultants, considered BJ experts, wear black. Prices start at 700 baht ($22 US) for a 30-minute blowjob sesh with a nurse, and 1,000 baht ($31 US) for half an hour with a consultant. They cap at 5,000 baht ($157 US) to take a consultant out for the entire night.

      There’s a mezzanine above the lobby where the girls gather to be chosen by clients. “They reminded me of vultures circling or crows on a line. It’s off-putting to have 20 girls staring down at you,” Jared said when we walked in.

      Many of the girls have photos, ratings, and reviews on the site, including some surprisingly honest reviews written by the management, such as this one: “She is very popular and I do not have any idea why. A customer goes to the room, comes down, pays, leaves and comes back again for the same lady. I need to find out why, as she is not the best looking lady.”

      “I asked for the same girl both times because she has the best reviews online,” said Jared. “The last time I went was just a few weeks ago. I was out with friends, drunk, and hopped up on M-150 [a Thai energy drink favored by motorcycle taxi drivers]. I started thinking, I could just sneak over there and be back before anyone notices. I was feeling really impulsive and sexually frustrated and in need of some kind of release."

      The bar isn’t designed to feel welcoming. The girls aren’t hanging around outside trying to lure guys in, like at most of the neighboring places. Dr. BJ’s Salon is hardly alone on Soi 7/1, a street filled with your standard happy-ending massage parlors. However, the name and aesthetic of Dr. BJ’s guarantee that no one will ever come in looking for a foot rub or a neck massage. While its neighbors might metaphorically whisper in the clientele’s ears, Dr. BJ's screams down the street: Hey, check it out! We’ll put our mouths on your dicks for money!”

      “After I paid," Jared told me, "we went up to the third floor. The rooms are like really big broom closets lined up, close together, down a very dim hallway. It’s a little creepy and a little bit like a fun house. The girls carry these plastic baskets that have mouthwash, condoms, lube, and some other stuff. In the room, there’s a black leather recliner, a stool, and those special kinds of sinks they have at the hair salon. You can guess what its for.” If you guessed dick washing, you're right. “They’re about to blow you, so they might as well," he said. "After they wash you, they lay a cloth over the chair because, obviously, other people have been there."

      I asked Jared about how good she was, whether this was a fumbling high school slob job or a luxury experience. He went into detail that was a little more explicit than I expected: "There was a lot of variety in the blowjob. She started at the tip and used her hands to stroke up and down. Then, she played with the head while kissing the shaft—she was actually very talented and did some deep-throating. I was impressed.

      "I had been scared I was going to come too soon," he went on, "but then we were getting close to half an hour and I think she was getting frustrated that I couldn’t come. She stayed dressed at the beginning but, when it didn’t seem like I was close to finishing, she took her top off and let me touch her. But no titty fucking or anything like that. I guess you have to pay the extra 1,000 baht for that. I finished all over myself. They don’t want you to come in their hair or on their face or dress, since they do so many per night. They stay with you for like 30 seconds or a minute afterwards, then they grab the mouthwash, rinse, wash you off, and go back downstairs."

      He continued telling me the story in TMI detail. "The experience was strange and surreal and a little bit kinky. I felt dirty, but not in a cool way. I never had anyone deep-throat me before, so that was awesome. But as great as it felt, it would have felt ten times better if it were with someone I cared about. I don’t think I’ll go again, but it was a good experience. There’s just something about the place that’s so interesting. It has anecdotal or experiential value. It’s sleazy to be like, I got a blowjob from a whore, but it’s interesting to be like, I went to a place called Dr. BJ's and got blown by a fake nurse.”

      Whatever you need to tell yourself, Jared.

      Topics: sex, Blowjobs, Bangkok, Thailand, Thai, prostitution, NSFW, Slob on My Knob, tickle my pickle, full release, take my dong to the palm prom, dr. BJ, thai blowjob bar, thai massage parlor, happy endings, things to do in bangkok

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