I Wonder If Natas Still Skates
Feb 25 2013
A few months ago a new hip was built at a ditch right down the street from my house. I drive by it every day and think to myself, I should go check that out and see if it's skateable. Well this past Saturday I finally walked down the street to check it out. What follows is how the 12-year-old skate rat who lives in my brain remembers the minor journey.
Holy shit, a ridable bank on the street that I live on? How did I not know that? Well, better make up for lost time and bomb drop off the top rope into this dog. Wait, might as well do it switch so the photo isn't a butt shot. I'm going to come back with a broom and skate here every day for at least an hour or two. I'll probably finally figure out nollie flips. Can't wait!
I bet if anybody sees me walking through this ditch they'll think I'm some kinda cool hobo. Like the kind of hobo that carries a knife but wouldn't use it unless he was forced to. Bob Dylan is cool.
Barf, yeah! This thing is sweet! That kinked out tranny kinda makes it a launcher! I'm probably gonna go all Natas on this thing. I wonder if anybody has ever gotten sponsored for skating a ditch? I know GSD was kinda the ditch dude back in the day, but I wonder if you could be a modern-day ditch pro? My graphic would probably have a centipede on it.
Ooof, that landing is kinda tight. No worries, just keep the front foot light and stay loose. The lieutenant... becomes casualty!
While I'm here I should probably barge a harsh blunt on this crust zone. Tom Knox could probably frontside hurricane it, but that's cool. Maybe I'll come back with some QuickCrete and fix that crack at the bottom of the bank. Maybe I'll figure out what QuickCrete actually is. Maybe I'll just call a Boban and see if they can fix it?
What? They fixed the big hip? I'm about to get my Rick Howard 360 flip on over that thing. I'll try to clear the whole middle section and land far enough on the other bank that I can avoid the crustaceous period at the bottom of the ditch. I'm so glad I finally came down here to check this thing out. I am totally shredding!
So that's how the 12-year-old skate rat in my brain remembers the trip to the ditch. Here's how the 38-year-old man in my body remembers the trip.
The kid and the wife are both napping, I can probably sneak out and go look at that drainage ditch down the street. Should I take my board? Nah… might be sort of embarrassing if I have to talk to my neighbors or the police. Plus, I'm going to go skate a miniramp later today, don't want to overdo it. Plus, I just set up a new board and don't really want to get my grip tape all dirty before I go skate the ramp.
Weird, I didn't know there was a steep, dirty, rough bank down the street from my house… pretty sure I won't ever skate that thing.
Man, I hope none of these homeowners call the cops on the grown-ass man creeping behind their houses in the ditch. I look kinda like an uncool 38-year-old teenager. Like the kinda 38-year-old teenager that carries a knife and probably uses it to invade homes.
Welp, looks like the ditch is still super rough and the new hip is way gnarlier than it looks from the road. Probably not gonna spend much time here in the future. I bet Holland Austin or Dylan Jones could do some serious stuff here. I wonder how long I've been gone now? I should probably head back home before the kid wakes up. I wonder if Natas still skates?
Previously - My Studiomate Mike Aho Has a New Book
I Attended a Juggalo Wedding at the Gathering of the Juggalos
I Hunted Feral Hogs in Florida as a Favor to the World
My Week with Sydney
Reasons Why Comic-Con Is the Worst Place Ever
An Interview with a Guy Who Can't Sleep Because He Is Afraid of Dying
A Rigged Indian Casino Karaoke Contest Was the Low Point of My Life
The Jim Norton Show: Mike Tyson and Dana White - Part 2
Should We Look at and Share Photos of Dead Civilians in Gaza?
A Few Impressions: Watch James Franco's Short Film, 'The Clerk's Tale,' Based on a Poem by Spencer Reece
One of Our Writers Went on an All-Alcohol Diet for a Week