Seth Bogart is the brain behind San Franciscan homo punk band Hunx and His Punks, the follow up project to his gay pop group Gravy Train. He’s touring Australia soon as part of the Sugar Mountain Festival in January. We probably should have asked him about that, but we were too busy talking about kangaroo cock, tour cock, showing each other our cocks, and well you get the idea.
VICE: Does touring the world allow for much time to cruise in each city? What cities stand out?
Seth Bogart: Well I went to a club in Paris that had a water park. There’s also a bar in Kansas City called Belly Up where bartenders have bagels on their penises. You can eat the bagels off their penises, and they have milk duds you can eat out of their butts.
I guess you don’t need cream cheese on those bagels. Obviously you’ve done this.
I can’t stop doing it.
This will be your first Australian tour, as I don’t think Gravy Train ever made it. What are you expecting from your first time?
I want to see a kangaroo’s boner!
I heard you’re making a film or a show. What’s the idea behind it?
Oh my god it’s actually coming out tomorrow, on hollywoodnailz.com, it’s about dicks, space and babies. You need to watch it.
Did gay punk icons like Kid Congo, Darby Crash and Gerado Velasquez inspire you in anyway?
I think for me it’s more about writing what I know. Sometimes I have sex four times before a show, so I just want to write and sing about it.
If Hunx and His Punx were an STD, what would it be?
HIV AIDS. I want to be the biggest sexually transmitted disease.
Yeah you don’t want crabs or some fleeting teenage STD, you want to be a disease that really sticks with you.
I want to be the biggest STD, obviously.
You’ve toured extensively, what were some of your stand out tour moments? I’m sure a lot of South American men would have reacted to experiencing a homo punk band for the first time.
I feel like once guys have failed to beat me up they always try to fuck me.
What do you think about Hunx and His Punx being criticised for being too shtick?
I agree with that. I don’t now why people complain if they just want to be entertained. Are you Jewish? Do you have a big cock? Can you send me a picture?
I’m Jewish so it’s all relative my friend.
Does that mean yes?
It means if we were in the same prison cell, we would probably take turns being the bitch.
Can you send me a picture?
Are you hairy?
Not “bear” hairy.
Is your butt hairy? You sound really hot.
I’m the male equivalent of Anne Frank.
Can you take your shirt off for me and show me your chest?
I really can’t, this is a $1000 suit and I have nowhere to hang my jacket.
I want to see everything, undo your shit a little more. You’re hot, I’m getting distracted. Do you like Antonio Banderas’ penis? (Holds up a picture of Antonio Banderas penis) Is it like your cock?
That is too big, fake. I’m going to distract you with more questions. What’s the wildest experience you have had on tour with a stranger or a groupie?
Probably putting a compete donut up someone’s butt and eating it.
Maybe I should ask a more serious question.
Maybe you should show us your cock.
Hunx and His Punx appear at Sugar Mountain Festival, Melbourne on January 19 with Dirty Projectors, Boomgates, Brothers Hand Mirror, Collarbones, Forces x Anthony Hamilton, Lower Plenty and others. Tickets and info here.