Jamie Taete's Internet Roundup

THE FUTURE, REVEALED

Phew! With "rioting" becoming a "global trend" and that whole 2012 mess, I was beginning to worry about the future. Thank god for whoever uploaded the above video to YouTube. Now I know the future is going to be an ethnic rainbow of posh kids talking exclusively in marketing jargon because their skirt doesn't have "e-commerce functionality". I think I can handle that.NEW RADIOHEAD VIDEO RELEASED

I'm not sure if Thom Yorke possesses the self awareness to fully comprehend just how much mash-up potential he spawned with this new Radiohead video. His thought process probably never got further than "this will really show people that I'm not ALL serious: I can laugh at myself. I'm the perfect balance. Like an indie version of Natalie Portman."

But this mash-up wins it. Hands down. In other news: though at this point I've spent at least five hours watching Thom Yorke dance, I'm yet to hear the actual song. Marketing genius, guys! CBS REPORTER REVEALS IT WASN'T A STROKE. WORLD IS ABLE TO STOP PRETENDING THEY DIDN'T FIND IT FUNNY

We've all seen this by now, and we all laughed until we cried, and then we found out that it was a stroke and we cried because we felt bad for laughing at a woman who was having a stroke. But guess what?

It wasn't a stroke!!!! It was a "complex migraine". This is the happiest day of my life. I'm sure some of you will say it's still mean to laugh at her as she was still obviously in distress, and that's not funny--no matter how much she sounds like a Sim. But to those people I say "heafy bertation, desh, daresh dertation." KIDS ON BIKES RAP. SMILES HAPPEN

And finally, there's this. I'm not entirely sure what it is or where it comes from, but I do know I've been smiling for the last couple of hours because of it. JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE