JAMIE TAETE'S INTERNET ROUNDUP

RELATIVES OF FAMOUS PEOPLE CREATE DEEPEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER MADE

This is the new Cults music video. It stars Dave "brother of James" Franco and Emma "niece of Julia" Roberts. I guess when the brother of the deepest actor of our generation and the niece of the star of the deepest movie of our generation (Eat Pray Love) got together, magic was bound to happen. But magic of this magnitude? That's something no one could have predicted.Everything about this video is perfect. Right from the moment when Franco is lounging around his apartment made entirely from back issues of GQ (in a tuxedo with a bow tie casually slung around his neck--my favourite lounging around the house outfit), through the dramatic mid section ("Quick! Run! A Hispanic man is coming!"), to the heartbreaking finale where the "Welcome to the Jungle" video makes her realise she's just too indie for this world. It's like YouTube is a mirror, and when I look into it, I can see my soul. My tortured, artsy soul. Simply breathtaking. FOOTNOTE: I was reading the other day that, no matter how obviously you are being sarcastic, if it's text there's going to be some people who will think you're being serious. So just to be clear: That video is the worst thing I have ever ever seen. And when I was younger I saw a guy get his legs run over by a lorry. LONDON ICE CREAM SHOP CREATES ICE CREAM FROM BREAST MILK

From BBC News: "A restaurant in London's Covent Garden is serving a new range of ice cream, made with breast milk.  The dessert, called Baby Gaga, is churned with donations from London mother Victoria Hiley, and served with a rusk and an optional shot of Calpol or Bonjela.  Mrs Hiley, 35, said if adults realised how tasty breast milk was, more new mothers would be encouraged to breastfeed.  Each serving of Baby Gaga at Icecreamists costs £14." I don't know about you, but I am DISGUSTED. That there is somebody in February 2011 that could think it was a good idea to make the pun "Baby Gaga"? Eugh, it's too awful to even think about. CHRISTIAN HIP-HOP EVEN MORE UN-SELF AWARE THAN YOU'D THINK

This is a single by Christian rapper Lecrae called "Go Hard". Which is taken from a Christian rap album called Hard 4 Christ. How many people must have heard this thing before it was released? And not one single person realised that "Hard 4 Christ" could be misinterpreted far more easily than it could be interpreted as intended? Wait, scratch that, it can only really be interpreted in one way: It means, "Jesus gives me an erection." EX-WESTLIFE MEMBER MORPHS INTO DEMON, SINGS ABOUT RAPING PEOPLE

Ex-Westlife member Brian McFadden is a prick. If the frosted tips and the fact that he used to be a member of Westlife weren’t enough to convince you of that, let the above video fill in the gaps.

And this is his new single. Which some people are saying is about him raping people. Not Brian though:

I'm gonna side with Brian here. "I can't wait 'til I can take you home so I can take advantage"? Clearly just an appreciation of the cuteness of an intoxicated Delta Goodrem. Anyone who says differently is just discriminating against Brian because he's a fucking moron. JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE