Kill the Engine

The Word Vagina

By Michael Sieben

 

I went to Vancouver for an art show at Antisocial Skateboard Shop a couple weekends ago. While I was there I took lots of pictures so that I could write about my travels for the website that you're looking at. If any of this sounds interesting to you, keep reading. If not, go ahead and get back to posting that picture of the sandwich you just ate as your status update on your Facebook page. 

I wasn't totally done with all of my work for the show, so I had to do some drawing on the plane on my way there.

 

Luckily there was hardly anybody on the flight and I was able to find a spot without anybody sitting next to me. It's hard to draw with somebody watching over your shoulder. Probably because making art is kind of like playing with yourself. It's very self-indulgent. 

 

This actually turned out to be the only drawing that I sold at the show. 

 

My first stop in Vancouver was at Ultimate Distribution. They distribute my skateboard company (Roger Skateboards) in Canada. Kevin Harris owns Ultimate and he also used to ride for Powell Peralta back in the 80s, which makes him a card-carrying member of the Bones Brigade. I'm a card-carrying member of the Rampy Boyz, but that doesn't actually mean anything since it's a made-up club. 

 

Kevin has tons of rad old skate memorabilia in his office. Here is a photo of the freestyle demo he performed at his wedding. 

 

This appears to be Kevin with a mermaid and Mike McGill. 

 

I'm pretty sure I would have crapped my pants if I could have had one of these in the 80s. Actually, crapped my shorts. I don't think I ever wore pants in the 80s. Just turquoise corduroy shorts.

 

I think this was my favorite thing in the office. BORNS BRIGADE instead of BONES BRIGADE. I might have to bootleg this shirt. So awesome.

 

This is exactly what I look like when I skateboard. Except my Tron helmet has a face mask. 

 

After leaving Ultimate I headed to Antisocial to start setting up the show. That's Michelle on the left. She runs the shop. And the dude on the right is Andrew Pommier. More about him later. 

 

I had to put most of my drawings in frames at the shop because I procrastinated and didn't do it before I left. While I was putting the drawings in frames, I sliced my finger open and a bunch of blood came out of it. I took a picture of the blood because I thought it looked tough. It looked like way more blood in person. I was thinking this photo would look like a Slayer album cover, but it doesn't. It just looks like someone drew on a tissue with a marker. Bummer. 

 

Here's what my drawings looked like when I hung them on the wall. Have you ever used that pink spackle that turns white when it's dry? Shit's awesome. 

 

My buddy Nate LaCoste was exhibiting some new sculptures for the show. Nate also skates for my previously mentioned skateboard company. He's probably the best.

 

This is a cool little resin filled vessel.

 

If this were an art school critique somebody would probably mention the word vagina.

 

I liked the goopy ones. 

 

After we finished hanging the art, we went to a music venue and listened to really loud music. I hate really loud music. But I like this dude's jacket. 

 

I was staying with Andrew Pommier. When I woke up, I started snooping through his shit and taking photos. Andrew and I have pretty similar collections of crap. Probably because we're about the same age and we're both skateboard art enthusiasts—nerds.

 

This is the Skaters Only board game. 

 

I always thought it was "Betties." Am I wrong?

 

This dude reminded me of a simpler time when DSL meant something totally different than Digital Subscriber Line. 

 

I loved Home Boy Magazine. Remember Home Boy Magazine? You do? Well... then you're old. 

 

Remember when Sassy tried to get in on the action sports vibe? Weird that both of these magazines (Home Boy and this one) say YOUTH CULTURE on the covers. Or maybe not, since the same dudes made both magazines. (I think that's right. Andy Jenkins, Spike Jonze, Mark Lewman, etc... That's correct, isn't it?)

 

These old Powell Peralta Intelligence Reports are great. 

 

Hey, I know that dude.

 

I can't write anything to make this drawing any better. 

 

Andrew woke up while I was photographing his crap collection and I asked him if he had any sketchbooks laying around. I wanted to share some of his drawings with you because I think they're really nice. 

 

See?

 

I told you. 

 

I also had to finish one more drawing for the art show and I convinced Andrew to work on it with me. 

 

Here's what we came up with.

 

Jump ahead a few hours and it's time for the art show to commence. Quick burrito mission before the handshakes and conversations begin. That's Andrew on the left (you guys met earlier) and Nate LaCoste on the right.

 

If my wife let me have man-crushes I'd probably have one on Nate. 

 

Some lady brought her cat to the opening and then seemed kind of bummed when I was trying to take a photo of her. My suggestion would be, if you don't want people to take your picture at the art show, don't wear a cat for a scarf. 

 

This dude was awesome but I can't remember his name. I asked him if he wore the Texas sweatshirt in my honor and he said, "Hell no!" Then we talked about skateboard jumping for an hour.   

 

Me: "Dude! I totally drew that t-shirt!" Dude: "Yeah, I know…" Followed by awkward silence. 

 

When the art show was over, we went to a weird dance club and I took a picture of a deer. The End. 

 

Many thanks to Michelle, Andrew, and all the beautiful citizens of Vancouver who made it out to the show.

 

Movie Review: Strange Brew

Every time I watch Strange Brew I think to myself, "Man, Bob and Doug McKenzie's dad-voice sounds exactly like Yosemite Sam." And when I was researching the movie for this review I found out why. Because the dude that did the voice of Mr. McKenzie is Mel Blanc who blah blah blah Yosemite Sam. 

Anyway, this movie is awesome because I think it's the only movie ever made in Canada. Just kidding, Canada. Just kidding. 

OK, I'm going to review this movie for real now. Bob and Doug McKenzie try to get some free beer and end up on a crazy adventure where they play hockey and drink a bunch of beer in a brewery. They also go to jail and their skunk dog flies to Oktoberfest. Not in an airplane. The dog actually flies like a Superman. It's a trip. 

Previously – Decapitated Dog's Head

 

Mike Sieben's website

 

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