Nightlife

We’re not going to bother bogging you down with all the different casinos and gambling spots in town as if there are a bunch of distinctions between them that should govern where you throw away your money. They’re all as crooked and fixed as they can get away with.  Eventually you’ll grow tired of staring at cards and video screens and green felt—either that or be walked to the door when your last cup of quarters runs dry. In the event of the latter, hope you had a good time and aren’t too hungover for the remorseful flight home. For the former, though, here are some good spots at which to space out the gambling binges: Ghostbar (4321 W Flamingo Rd, on the top floor of the Palms (702)938-2666) The clientele is pretty fratty, but they’ve got a glass-floored deck extending off the roof where you can pretend you’ve died and now watch over the city as a vengeful ghost. Either that or jump up and down to freak out the members of your party scared of heights.  Center Bar (4455 Paradise Rd, inside the Hard Rock) Also known as the Drain, as everybody drinking just slowly circles the bar in the middle. This is a good place to meet someone you might actually have an interest in sleeping or at least hanging with. Take heed though: Those girls playing the nearby slots by themselves at 4 AM, yes, those are hookers. Double Down Saloon (4640 Paradise Rd (702)791-5775) A solid, less-frills kind of place a short stumble away from the Hard Rock, whose jock we really ought to get off. Whatever you do, don’t let anybody you’re with try their “Assjuice.” Gilley’s (3120 Las Vegas Blvd (702)794-8200) If you keep up with such matters, this is the cowboy-themed place Tim from Les Savy Fav got booted from last time we threw a party in town. Don’t let that make you think they’re prudes or anything—just good old-fashioned desert hicks who like their mud-wrestling shirtless-fat-guy-free.  STRIP CLUBS In a weird nod to the city’s Mormon settlers, Las Vegas law prohibits the sale of alcohol at places with fully nude dancing. While this was supposed to push the whole stripping industry into the classier topless direction, what it did was create a thriving market of dry, all-nude clubs to cater to the oft-overlooked 18- to 21-year-old and teetotaling-perv demographics. These places are the nude equivalent of those all-ages dance clubs every town’s got—stick with the just-tits unless you like a shot of sobriety mixed in with your depression.  Palomino (1848 Las Vegas Blvd N (702)642-2984) The one exception to the all-nude rule, the Palamino’s liquor license was grandfathered in from a more liberal time, though by the looks of them so were the dancers. Everywhere you go is going to have a pretty exorbitant cover unless you’re traveling with your own troop of scantily-clad girls (which is highly recommended), but by now you should already be used to hemorrhaging cash.  Sapphire (3025 Industrial Rd (702)796-6000) The biggest and classiest strip club in town, Saphire looks like they originally set out to build one of those tricked-out sports arenas then decided to toss in some black lights and fill it to the brim with bare tits for good measure. Think Scores without all the awfulness.  Showgirl Video (631 Las Vegas Blvd S (702)385-4554) If you are hunting for that “I wonder how bad we can go tonight” type of vibe, look no further. Dollar booths with live girls and really unsanitary conditions. If you really get inspired there is an attached 24-hour porno store where you can pick up that two-foot-tall black fist you’ve been looking for and really get your mojo working. OTHER

Industrial Road runs parallel to the Strip about a block over and houses any number of massage parlors whose names and presumably managements change on a monthly basis. Paying the $400 to $500 fee pretty much guarantees whatever you want to happen will (within reasonable limits), but don’t sketch out the doorguy—narcs only get actual massages.

The Green Door (953 E Sahara Ave #B20 (702)732-4656) Basically a spot for people to come and publicly fuck, be fucked, and group fuck. If you’re into doing it in front of other people in locker rooms, castles, Egypt, dorm rooms, or doctors’ offices they’ve got two huge floors of themed rooms just for you. Be aware if any of your friends discover you came here, it is grounds for immediate x-ing.