Literary

Photo courtesy of HarperCollins

FIGHT (EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ASS-KICKING BUT WERE AFRAID YOU’D GET YOUR ASS KICKED FOR ASKING)

Eugene S. Robinson

HarperCollins

How did Eugene get this shit put out by HarperCollins? We’ve been getting regular visits in print from everybody’s favourite radical-thinking former bodybuilder, ultimate fighter, bouncer, singer and all-round loveable loony tune since he wrote the

Vice Guide to Getting Beaten Up

for us way back when for our Violence issue. That seems like a million years ago and ever since Eugene has been doing what he does best: fighting, fucking and living to tell the tale.

And not just living to tell the tale to a few buddies over a pitcher down the bar but ripping and roaring and howling the tale at anyone who’ll listen as part of his Oxbow stage show, via spoken word appearances and now collected all in one place in print.

A book might just about be the best way to digest Eugene’s unique take on the everyday. Actually experiencing it first hand pretty much necessitates confrontation. Oxbow performances generally end in nudity, degradation and glass-shattering violence. Even via the written word, Eugene’s wild-eyed intensity comes pouring off every page. But at least you can close a book. It’s a little harder turning off a naked, bicep-bulging, tattooed hulk who’s just jumped on your back and thrust his cock in your face.

It’s been a while since we caught up with Eugene so we decided to give him a call and see how the whole beating up and getting beaten game was treating him.

Vice: Hey Eugene, how are things?

Eugene:

I am, as ever, staving off the states of total internal and external implosion and explosion.

How do you tend to keep the mist from descending?

I try and maintain states of deep breathing and counting to ten. But you know, drink, drugs and whatever narcotics and opiates are available. Maybe church?

When was the last time you went to church, Eugene?

My church is wherever I choose to be at any given time. I am always at church.

Hang on, are you driving and talking at the same time? In England you’d totally get a smack on the wrist right now.

We still have certain freedoms here. If I was in Texas I could be drinking while driving. And shooting a gun, of course.

Since we’re calling about a book which is about fighting I guess I better ask you about fighting. What is the worst beating you’ve ever taken?

Brian “The Fury” Johnston once called me out over an article I’d written in

GQ

saying he’d been choked out after seven minutes. He came at me and it was like being in the jaws of a force of nature. Absolute pain and A&E time.

Yikes. And what’s the worst dusting you’ve ever handed out?

When I was living in New York I took out someone who had raped a friend. That motherfucker is lucky to be alive. He was very close to death indeed.

JAMES KNIGHT

harpercollins.com