Lock Up Your Mothers!

Photo by Miles de Courcy

Black Wizard are four hard-rocking nippers from the Canadian town of New Westminister. They remind me of the metal version of New Kids On The Block. I imagine Mattel capitalising on collectible Black Wizard dolls pretty soon. The music speaks for itself because the boys are talented. But they are, in fact, still boys. So that is why I had to hold back the urge to face-rape them when they invited me into their van for this interview. With only a handful of shows to their name but a growing number of fans and a self-produced LP due this month, Black Wizard are, as they say, on the up. As I sat in the back seat, the band shouted over one another, nicking cigarettes off the drunk girls who were pounding their fists on the side of the van. They asked me not to print some stuff we talked about, but I didn’t hear them. The first song guitarist Johnny masturbated to was “Hope” by The Descendants. Whoops. Vice: How did you all meet?
Johnny de Courcy (guitars/vocals): The first time I met Russia it was Halloween. I was in eighth grade. I’m by my house and I see this guy who is dressed up as Peter Chris. No one wants to be Peter Chris, but Russia is a drummer and a trooper, so the first thing I said to him was, “Why the fuck are you dressed like Peter Chris?” Then I punched him. You punched your way to friendship?
Eugene “Russia” Parkomenko (drums): Yeah, that Christmas break we jammed in my basement for three weeks straight. Johnny: Every fucking day. Had you all played before?
Kyle Fee (bass): I started in a high school band. Johnny: I’d see him playing his bass in the auditorium at school and I thought he was cool. Adam Grant (guitar/vocals): I got a shitty acoustic guitar when I was eight. Then my dad’s friend stole a Strat and gave it to me. That’s the one I have now. I just taught myself. The first song I learned was the wrong way to play “Smoke on the Water”. In ninth grade, Russia and I started a glam rock band called Christmaz with a “z”. We sang about the Sunset Strip. Do your parents come to your shows?
Adam: At one show, Russia’s mum showed up and she was all dressed up and looking sweet. She took her blouse off and she had on this neon tube top. I’ll never forget that. Johnny: Olga Parkomenko. She’s a fucking minx. You guys are pretty great live. But you’re not as good as… who?
Kyle: Turbonegro. Adam: Hmm, actually Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks. I love Pavement, so when I saw them I was pretty stoked, but I got too high on ecstasy and pissed off all the indie kids because I was trying to hug everyone. MISH WAY
Black Wizard’s self-titled debut is out this month on Crack Lizard Records. myspace.com/blackwizardcom