London Fashion Week... on Acid!

Everything on acid is nuts, right?  John Lennon is like Paul McCartney... on acid; Lady Gaga is like Cyndi Lauper… on acid; Lindsay Anderson's If... is like Grange Hill… on LOADS of acid! Etc. Well, we decided to do really scary things on acid and see if that journalistic cliche has a point. This week: London Fashion Week!

This is our friend Elektra. That little square of paper on her tongue is acid.

And here she is a couple of hours later, tripping balls outside the Topshop Unique show at the Old Eurostar Terminal in Waterloo station. This was taken about ten minutes into the hour we spent waiting in line to get inside.

As I'm sure you know, being in a crowd while on acid is the worst thing in the world. As I'm sure you also know, fashion people are the worst people in the entire world. The combination took its toll on poor Elektra, who was getting nervous. Fortunately, she spotted this girl.

This girl is basically acid health care and I'm surprised Elektra didn't try and lick her. She killed 30 trippy minutes just staring at her.

Then some drama blew her out of her trance. This paparazzi had his own bad trip while running backwards photographing Pixie Geldof (you can see her legs in those jeans there).

As you can see, Elektra really enjoyed it. I think the crunching sound the several thousand dollars worth of camera equipment in the guy's backpack made as it broke his fall worked for her. Anyway, she lost it.

Seriously. This picture was taken, like, ten minutes after the guy fell. That girl on the left looks like she's just figured out how high Elektra is.

And then we went inside. We had really great seats. At this point, I asked Elektra how she was feeling and she said: "I'm intensely tripping my shit."

This is what the clothes looked like. Elektra didn't really have too much to say about them, though. "I was too overwhelmed by the music and the people. I didn't even really look at the clothes."

"I also started to get really concerned about the well-being of the models. They were so thin! The one with pink hair in particular. She was a goner. She had a week left, tops. May she rest in peace."

When the show was over, I made her go ask Naomi Campbell if she could get her picture taken with her.

I swear I'm not making this up, but when Elektra asked: "Do you mind if I get a picture with you?" Naomi turned to her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not speaking." Which was weird, because she had to speak in order to say that.

Naomi's rejection sent Elektra into a very bad place. She had to go sit down. "My stomach turned when she said that to me. I got really bad vibes off of her. I don't feel very well now. I thought she was going to hit me."

I'm pretty sure her bad trip wasn't helped by the presence of this Hiroshima in shades.

Luckily, in one of those synchronistic events that always seem to happen on acid, the place Elektra decided to sit was quickly shared by Kelis' ass. This blew life back into the poor, tripping girl. "It looks incredible," she said, grinning. "I'm getting seriously good vibes."

Then I suggested she get a picture with Nicola Roberts. I think Nicola is pulling that face because she was in the middle of being photographed by paparazzi, and this giggling Greek girl walked into her shot.

Which is how her grinning, tripping face ended up in The Daily Mail.

And with that, everybody got into taxis to be whisked away to other shows that we weren't invited to.

To conclude, here are some closing words from Elektra: "I feel like I've been through so much. And SEEN so much. Good stuff and bad. I feel that, from now on, nobody should ever go to fashion week not on acid. It would be stupid."

Previously:

INTERVIEWING KEVIN SMITH... ON ACID!

SPENDING THE NIGHT IN AN ABANDONED MILITARY BASE... ON ACID!

THEME PARK... ON ACID!