LONDON - JIRO & HIS JAR

Jiro, our friend, illustrator, and one half of Voodoo Village, claimed to be sick last week. We all thought he was just being a bit wet. But over the last six days he has accrued proof of his malady. By collecting (he debates that term) his mucus. We had an iChat conversation with him about it.

VICE: So, why did you collect your phlegm?

JIRO: I'm not collecting it.

Bullshit.

What are you supposed to do when you have a huge thick boggy in your mouth and your in bed?

So wait—did you empty it regularly?

No.

You are like my housemate who pissed in a pint glass to avoid having to get out of bed.

Why?

How many days is that crop in the jar?

A week.

Pretty good going.

Most of the good stuff went down the sink.

Poor things.

It was just for the times when I was in bed or lying on the sofa and had some phlegm in my mouth.

The one on your finger in the pic looks a bit bloody…

Yeah, there were a lot of bloody boogies…

Grim. What are you going to do with them now?

That one I could feel in my mouth for a whole week.

What? Lodged at the back? Half in half out?

Yeah, between the mouth and nose, whats that bit called?

I hate them. Is that the epiglotis?

Whatever.

Or is that the hanging down bit?

It doesn't matter.

What does it smell like?

Now? The jar?

Yeah.

I dont like smelling it, just sometimes I get a whiff. It smelt like chocolate milkshake last time I smelled it.

Oh god, chocolate? wtf? It can't be as bad as when you opened the gross jar [see here] on the pub roof.

That didn't smell.

It did to me. What are you going to do with the jar now? Reuse or throw away?

Maybe take the lid off and throw it, dunno.

If you do then take a photo of it in the sink. What do you mean?

I mean throw it out from my balcony

Jesus, what if there is a child below? You sick fuck.

Bad luck.

Ha ha—imagine that landing on your head.

Well it smells like chocolate milkshake so they might like it.

If you throw it take a photo. Somehow. I may just put up this iChat as a Q&A

Sure.