Our events guy Ben Swank is one of those retro rock dudes who wears pointy boots and leather jackets. He’s also started sporting sleeveless T-shirts around the office. Tank top, cut-off, muscle shirt, call it what you will, do we really need to see those hairy arms? It’s not even summer yet.UPDATE: A reader left a comment saying there was a Von Bondies song about our bulging-biceped buddy here. We thought it was just a joke when we told Ben about it, but turns out it's actually true! Here's what he had to say…Listen: Von Bondies- "Been Swank"The Von Bondies? What the fuck?
They used to rehearse in my attic. They had a song with a bassline I liked, so they named it after me.
Sure. Were you some kind of Detroit hipster groupie?
When I heard the lyrics it sounded like Jason [Stollsteimer] was taking the piss.
Did you want to smash his face up like Jack White did?
Ha! I cut ties with Jason after that. Jack's my boy.
What? Did you pleasure Jack too?
Well, I'm on the cover of White Blood Cells.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Which one are you?
I'm the one reaching towards Jack's cock.
Makes sense.---------------------When asked to defend his attire, Ben kissed his "guns" and said:"First and foremost, Blue Oyster Cult rules. Fair enough, by '83 (from whence this tour shirt came) they pretty much sucked, but they still had kickass song titles like "Shooting the Shark" and "Dragon Lady"."Secondly, nobody ever gave me shit for this shirt back home in Detroit. There's a total smug 'We don't listen to classic rock 'cos all we dig is the most current boring shit music ever created on an Atari' thing happening here. What am I supposed to do, start wearing ironic ball caps and hoodies just 'cos I moved to London?"Third, and most importantly, my wife digs 'em, so fuck all ya'll."
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They used to rehearse in my attic. They had a song with a bassline I liked, so they named it after me.
Sure. Were you some kind of Detroit hipster groupie?
When I heard the lyrics it sounded like Jason [Stollsteimer] was taking the piss.
Did you want to smash his face up like Jack White did?
Ha! I cut ties with Jason after that. Jack's my boy.
What? Did you pleasure Jack too?
Well, I'm on the cover of White Blood Cells.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Which one are you?
I'm the one reaching towards Jack's cock.
Makes sense.---------------------When asked to defend his attire, Ben kissed his "guns" and said:"First and foremost, Blue Oyster Cult rules. Fair enough, by '83 (from whence this tour shirt came) they pretty much sucked, but they still had kickass song titles like "Shooting the Shark" and "Dragon Lady"."Secondly, nobody ever gave me shit for this shirt back home in Detroit. There's a total smug 'We don't listen to classic rock 'cos all we dig is the most current boring shit music ever created on an Atari' thing happening here. What am I supposed to do, start wearing ironic ball caps and hoodies just 'cos I moved to London?"Third, and most importantly, my wife digs 'em, so fuck all ya'll."