Records

MIKA MIKO

TÜRD HELMET (SURPRISE)

JIM JONES

Pray IV Reign

Columbia

This has a lot of “featuring.” Who’s Starr? Is that Gangstarr? No. I don’t get offended by bad words in English because it’s not my first language. Lil Wayne doesn’t make that much sense to me. It’s like watching a movie. I like this because probably when they’re singing against the microphone they’re moving like this [

does “gangsta” hands

]. What matters in the sound is the beats and the vocals. The rest goes second plan. This is a weird mix to me. I’m not crazy about it. I might change. No. I like hip-hop. I’m having a big hip-hop phase but 90s. It’s so soulful. It had a big bass. I wouldn’t want to mix my music like this.

LOVERS

I Am the West

Pop Heart

I can see this is gay. They have beautiful people and cute little animals. You know in Brazil, to say “faggot” you say “deer.” That’s how you call faggots. “

Veado

.” They must have found out. Are you going to be totally mad if I don’t say anything bad about anyone? I like that they’re doing all this pretty craziness. It’s hard to get a good sound, to record it well and mixing and all the production shit. It’s cute. Yeah! Sounds of the rainbow. Sounds a liiiiiittle bit like MGMT. Not really. This kind of pace. It’s cute. OK. Yeah, it’s very new romantic. It looks like they are going to a park every day. It’s nice. I like her voice.

BACHELORETTE

My Electric Family

Drag City

It’s better that I don’t know where it’s from so I don’t start judging. It’s hard to listen to introspective music really fast in your ears. It just doesn’t work. A little Cocteau Twins without the guitars, which is my favorite thing about the Cocteau Twins. Wah-wah, you know the pedal that makes this sound. I like little cute noises. It’s actually good stuff. This is a Casiotone. Right off your little Casio. It’s very cute. I don’t know if I would listen every day. Is this the first album? If it’s the first one, it’s cool.

MONTEGO JOE HAR-YOU PERCUSSION GROUP

Sounds of the

Ghetto Youth

ESP-Disk

This cover is really nice. I like this label. Let’s see. Really? Wow. I like this. The recording is so nice. I wouldn’t know how to record something like this, like drums in Jamaica. I couldn’t figure it out. It’s so far from what we do. I was obsessed with this kind of music for a while. Adriano would hate this. “Oh, we’re serious now, we’re adults,” he would say. But I kind of like it, it’s very cultured. In Brazil, even in São Paulo, at one point you will listen to a lot of drums. I can totally cook listening to this. I like jazz. I often listen to jazz. I got this from my father. It’s an emotional childhood thing. Good stuff.

DEASTRO

Moondagger

Ghostly

This looks like a Klaxons product. And the name of the stuff, “Toxic Crusader,” “Biophelia,” looks a little like I read that book where the world’s going to end. It’s a very good book, people say. Oh!

Gravity’s Rainbow

. It seems like before the Klaxons this wouldn’t have existed. But it doesn’t sound so much like them. Is this from England? From America? Detroit. Oh. This is why the English do ballads better than anyone else. This has a lot of ballads and they’re pretty but they could be a little tougher. They’re going for a lot. It’s not easy to do that.

TÜRD HELMET

Greatest (s)Hits

Assmonkey

LA band. Girls. They’re really, really cute. They remind me a lot of us in 2003. “We Be Xuxa” (pronounced “Shu-sha”)—I said it the right way. Xuxa is a child sex symbol. A TV presenter for kids. She’s blond, not typically Brazilian, and she’s from the south part of Brazil. She’s kind of crazy. Before she was a presenter she was in a soft-core porn. Now she’s old, a funny figure from childhood. Did they know about Xuxa? I would like to know if they do. I always wanted Mika Miko to support my band. OK? Girls? Please get back to us. I hope we have more money to pay you. I’ve never seen them live, which is a bummer, because I watch their videos and they’re getting better. This isn’t a boring show, I can tell. I want a copy. They sound like they have Gibsons.

PETER WALKER

Spanish Guitar

Birdman

It’s really Spanish, I guess. Look, it’s been translated. It’s very beautiful. It’s just guitar. Oh my God. It is beautiful, you know. I’m sure my mom would love it. My mom has good taste. It’s true. I always make mixtapes for my mom. My father introduced me to good music. I just get a little nervous because I play the guitar. It just feels funny. I used to have a boyfriend who played flamenco. I was 13. He was 18. Nothing happened, don’t worry, it was just a little flirt. I had a big fight with him because he said when something is called alternative music, that means it’s bad. So we broke up. This is very specific. If you’re going to do something like this, you have so many people who did it better for so many years. But everything is valid.

NOISY PIG

Disaster #1

Cochon

OK. Is this funny? Tell me what’s funny! Tell me what’s not funny! The cover is a little funny. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be funny. I think it is. Yeah, it’s funny. It’s using a little pig keyboard. Oh my God, this sounds like a fart. Which is OK but I’m not in the mood because I just had lunch. I love little noises like this. Magic peeeee. This is like a crazy fucking kid, right? I love Gravy Train!!!! I love that band, I think it’s one of the funniest things ever, and they’re nice. But this just seems a little more lonely than that party. OK, bye piggy!

TINY MASTERS

OF TODAY

Skeletons

Mute

I have a friend who doesn’t like child bands. She has a problem. I actually like them. This is fun. They have the best people working with them. The drums are great. Actually we wanted to meet them but they couldn’t come to our show because they were too young. But we did a remix with them. It sounds like Boss Hog, like Jon Spencer. I think they’re totally real. I don’t think I have paid enough attention. I heard them a while ago and I really liked the stuff I heard but I kind of forgot them and now they have this. I’m sure people are helping them. I love this kind of noise. It sounds like it’s coming from a small speaker, a small radio. It’s like

brarhrahharhar

.

BLACK MOTH SUPERRAINBOW

Eating Us

Graveface

Crazy cover. I was just talking about Boss Hog and now this sounds a little like the Make-Up, but the vocals are totally different. Sounds a little bit like Air also. OK, we have a vocoder. I like it, I just wish something was not a vocoder, just for a change. I like the vocoder, just not in everything. I’m done.

This is a very, very ugly cover. What the fuck is this thing on the floor? It’s kind of nice, which makes it so much worse. Look at this tattoo. Everything is wrong. It’s disgusting. The dog taking a dump is kind of cute. Who is this guy? Is this the guy who did it? Jesus Christ, oh my God. When you open the CD it makes a farting noise! This is really extreme. This better pay off. I’m hating it. And the police and the people cursing is a metaphor for what? God, this is really bad. “Pooping My Pants” is the name of this song. Go listen to Bonde do Role. No. I’m done. And you have to go through this every time! Like this guy, please don’t ever know me. I don’t hate you personally, I just don’t like your work. This cover! Why is this girl agreeing with this? I’m really offended by this. Everything about it is so wrong. The tattoo here, what the fuck?