Two months ago I wrote a thing saying that if bands bribe me with Mad Balls, I'll review their album. Shortly after that post went up, I got one in the mail, but the guy was like "I don't have an album," so that was just generally nice. Today, while walking around in the heat, possibly purchasing a pork sandwich, a package landed on my desk containing these beauts:
The note inside the package read:Dear Kelly, Here's the deal. You said bribery works for you. I'm taking you up on your offer! I'm James: 24 year old hip-hop artist from Las Vegas with an album that needs coverage. Contents enclosed: 2 Mad Balls!! (***This part was in bubble letters***) Please let me know how you like the balls and the album! Thanks for your precious time!Talk soon,James
What an exciting thing to happen! Well, I am certainly not one to welch on an agreement, so here goes.First off, this guy has his self-marketing shit down. He included a very classy business card on nice card stock (important), and a simple, to the point one-sheet. Refreshing because most of the stuff we get is in all-capped weird fonts, just alternating between calling the enclosed album AWESOME, and HOT JAMZ, with no paragraph breaks, and this is from professional publicists.Because I have a hangover and it's 156 degrees outside, I'm going to list a string of words and emotions that describe how I feel about this album and we will call that a review. Cool? SUCCESSES IN LIFE!- Clean- Crisp- Not dumb- Different- Refreshing- Attractive- Better than a pork sandwich- Almost as good as pizza- Better than the last five albums I listened to today- Didn't make me want to kill anyone- Didn't make me want to kill myself- Am actually putting this in my bag to take home- I'd touch a boob while listening to thisFind out more about Machine HERE, and follow him on Twitter HERE. Then go buy me some more Mad Balls, suckers.@WolfieVibes
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